Home » Archives for Kathy Macaraeg » Page 3
Author

Kathy Macaraeg

Home Safety Checklist for Seniors
Fall Prevention TipsSafety & Fall Prevention

Home Safety Checklist for Seniors

by Kathy Macaraeg
written by Kathy Macaraeg

How to reduce falls in the home:

Did you know falls are the leading cause of fatal injury and the most common cause of nonfatal trauma-related hospital admissions among older adults? So how can you help your parents make their home fall-safe? Home Safety Checklist for Seniors
First, you can address the fall risks in the home, room by room. You both may be so used to the layout of their home and the way things are that you don’t notice the risks. Be prepared for some push back, particularly if they are resistant to you stepping in and “taking over.” This is a great opportunity to work together to identify risks and solutions together.

Home Entrance:

  • Do they have a front porch?
  • How is the lighting?
  • Do they have a sturdy railing for the steps?
  • Are there cracks that need to be leveled?
  • How is the lighting in the front entrance?
  • Does furniture block a clear entry?
  • Is there a rug at the door? Is it secure on a non-stick mat?

Living Room:

  • Are there rugs that can cause someone to slip or trip?
  • Are there phone cables or power cords in walkways?
  • Are there clear walkways?
  • Is there enough room to maneuver the room? Is the coffee table too close to the table or is there enough room to get around a side table?
  • Are the floorboards or carpeting loose? Carpet can stretch and sag over the years, making it easy to trip.
  • Is there ample lighting in the room?

Bedroom:

  • Is there ample lighting?
  • Is there a clear pathway from your bed to the door?
  • Are there rugs? Make sure they are secure.
  • Are there phone cords or TV cables in walkways?
  • Keep a flashlight in your nightstand in case there is a power outage.

Bathrooms:

  • Install grab bars in the bathtub or shower and next to the toilet.
  • Clean up water spills immediately.
  • Place non-skid mats on surfaces that might get wet.
  • Add commodes to help with standing.
  • Add a shower bench to prevent falls.

General Household Tips:

  • Make sure all walkways are clear.
  • Keep frequently used items easily accessible to avoid overreaching or dizziness after bending.
  • Arrange furniture so there is sufficient room to move around and clear pathways of newspapers, magazines or boxes.
  • Consider purchasing furniture that is an adequate height to make getting in and out of a chair easier.
  • Put nightlights in each room so that no room is completely dark.
  • Add a comfortable reclining lift chair to eliminate falls that occur from trying to stand up with weak muscles

Of course, ensuring the home is as safe as possible is just the first step in fall prevention. We’ll look at health risks that can increase falls in a later post.
Have you tackled your parent’s space to make it fall safe? What was the most surprising obstacle?

Check out all the home safety aids at Senior.com!

Home Safety Checklist for Seniors

Home Safety Checklist for Seniors Home Safety Checklist for Seniors Home Safety Checklist for Seniors Home Safety Checklist for Seniors Home Safety Checklist for Seniors Home Safety Checklist for Seniors Home Safety Checklist for Seniors Home Safety Checklist for Seniors Home Safety Checklist for Seniors

0 comment
0 FacebookTwitterPinterestEmail
Caregiving

Are You Ready to Be a Caregiver to an Aging Loved One?

by Kathy Macaraeg
written by Kathy Macaraeg

Being a caregiver to a family member can be rewarding, but it can also take a toll on your emotions, your finances and your family. While you may feel like you have no choice, there are resources that you can consider if you don’t feel like caregiving is the right choice for you.

It doesn’t have to destroy your family bond. Even if you don’t take on the full role of caregiver, you can still have a strong, active role in ensuring your aging parent is safe and healthy. If you have siblings or other family members you can rely on, you can all work together to find the best solution for your parent.

No matter what you decide, you shouldn’t feel guilty about your decision. Becoming a family member’s caregiver alters the relationship. It increases stress and it impacts your finances since you will likely have to step back from work or cover costs of necessities not covered by insurance. Of course, there are also many benefits to caregiving. You will strengthen the bond you have with your caree. You will have the comfort of knowing you did the best you could for the person you love. You will get to spend quality time together at a time where there may not be much time left.

Before jumping into caregiving, consider these questions. Answer them honestly and if in the end, you don’t think you can become a full-time caregiver, decide how much you can do and work with other family members to ensure your parent is cared for and you are all in it together.

Q: Can You Accept Your Loved One’s Old Age?

A: Watching someone you love grow old can be hard and your reaction to it may surprise you. You may get frustrated with them for not being able to do things they used to, or you may coddle them and do too much, making them feel useless.

Q: Do you like this person, not just because they are family?

A: If your relationship has always had conflict, know that it may be exacerbated when they are sick or uncomfortable. If the relationship isn’t solid from the start, it may be difficult to serve as their caregiver.

Q: Can you adjust to having a different role?

A: When a person becomes dependent, it may force their caregiver to take on a new role as the leader. It can be difficult for both of you to adjust to. There may be times where they are doing things that are unsafe or not healthy and you will have to correct the behavior. Are you comfortable doing this?

Q: Are you overburdened?

A: If you already have a full plate – a job, children, spouse, personal obligations – consider what it would take to fit one more responsibility on your plate. You may begin to feel guilty that you can’t do more to help your parent, or aren’t around enough for your children, or you may begin to resent your new role. These feelings are normal. Try to find ways to relieve the pressure and more efficient ways to get things done. If it is just too much for one person to do, bring in other support or outsource responsibilities.

If you do decide to proceed as the caregiver, be sure to care for yourself in the process. You won’t do anyone any good of you don’t first care for yourself. Here are some quick self-care tactics and signs of caregiver stress to keep in mind.

0 comment
0 FacebookTwitterPinterestEmail
Effects of Sibling Rivalry on Caregiving
Caregiving

Effects of Sibling Rivalry on Caregiving

by Kathy Macaraeg
written by Kathy Macaraeg

How to Handle Past Rivalries So Your Aging Parents Don’t Suffer

Family dynamics can be tricky when an aging parent needs caregiving. Siblings go from living their own independent lives to sharing caregiving duties with each other. Effects of Sibling Rivalry on Caregiving
The problem comes when old rivalries arise. You may also have grown apart and have different ideas of acceptable caregiving or what’s best for mom or dad. It can affect your relationship with each other and put your aging parent in an uncomfortable position. So, how can you work together to ensure your parent is receiving the proper care and reduce undue stress on you and your parent? Effects of Sibling Rivalry on Caregiving

Steps to Mitigate Caregiving Issues Between Siblings:

Involve Your Parent

Ideally, your parent is still able to make his or her own decisions so you can all sit together and plan how to manage their care. Don’t put them in the middle of your sibling rivalry. You are adults now; you can work together without putting your parent in an awkward position.
In business, we can work with people we don’t like because its business and there are no emotions tied to it. Unfortunately, when it comes to family dynamics, it is all about emotions so it can be hard to set aside personal feelings.
Agree to go into the discussion with an open mind. You can each make a list of your non-negotiables so you know what areas are most important to everyone involved. Provide pros and cons for your recommendations to remove the emotions.
Does your sibling want to put you parent in an assisted living facility and you want your parent to age in place? How does your parent feel about the options? Once you’ve all listened to each others’ opinions, you can make more educated decision of what is best for your parent. Effects of Sibling Rivalry on Caregiving

What if You Can’t Agree?

If your parent is experiencing cognitive decline or dementia, it becomes more challenging to get their input since they may not be able to make decisions for themselves. You may need to bring in an impartial third party to facility the conversation if you and your siblings can’t come to an agreement. A facilitator can be anyone from a clergy person to a trained therapist.
Once you’ve decided on a course of action, the next step is to figure out how to get it all done. If you still have a problem agreeing on how to proceed, you may want to consider outsourcing care to a geriatric care manager, who can provide recommendations for care and keep everyone updated.

Communication is Key

One of the biggest complaints from siblings is that they didn’t know a decision was being made or they weren’t aware of a medical condition. Avoid creating conflict by deciding ahead of time how often and when you will update each other and what decisions should be made by committee and what decisions can be made by the caregiver “on duty.”
It becomes less stressful when everyone knows their responsibility and the parameters for decision-making ahead of time. How you choose to communicate is up to you, but my preference is to maintain a document that holds all of the updates.

Divide and Conquer

You may not get along, but you will have to work together. The easiest way to work together and not have tension and conflict is to divide the necessary tasks and decide who will do what ahead of time.
Don’t leave the small tasks off the list, assuming they will get handled. Include everything from making medical appointments, scheduling or providing transportation to appointments, paying bills and housekeeping, grocery shopping and providing personal-care for your parent. Once you have a clear picture, you can either divide it by tasks or decide what will be outsourced and who will pay for it.
For example, a family member who doesn’t live nearby or doesn’t have flexibility to take time off work can handle administrative tasks such as phone scheduling, bill paying, tracking medical care and service research. Someone who has more flexibility or works irregular hours can handle transportation to appointments, grocery shopping and personal-care tasks.
Sometimes, family members have to decide what issue is their “hill to die on.” If one member has strong feelings about an issue and the other is ambivalent, go with the opinion of the person with the strongest opinion. If neither of the siblings is sure how to handle an issue, consult a professional and go with their recommendation.

Outsource

What happens when even after meeting with a facilitator and dividing all of the tasks, you find that you can’t get along and your parent’s care is suffering? You will need to consider outsourcing. Ideally, your parents have the financial means to cover the costs, but if not, you may need to decide how much everyone will contribute financially. If some members aren’t able to contribute financially, can they contribute in other ways?
If your parent isn’t able to cover caregiving costs and you and your siblings are unable to bear the financial burden, there are resources available to your parent. Reach out to your parent’s local senior center to determine what is available in their area. You should also contact your local Administration on Aging office for support.
Sibling rivalry can make caregiving challenging. Try not to let it impact your parent’s care or your own well-being.
 

Effects of Sibling Rivalry on Caregiving

 

0 comment
0 FacebookTwitterPinterestEmail
Woman examining medication treatment, several boats in the hand, conceptual image
Caregiving

How to Create a Caregiver Command Center

by Kathy Macaraeg
written by Kathy Macaraeg

Smoothly With A Command Center

Caregiving requires organization. Few caregivers have only one obligation – caring for a loved one – so juggling all of the tasks and managing your own life requires some serious organization. If you aren’t organized, you’ll become frustrated, stressed out and possibly drop a few balls here and there.

Of course, many caregivers are thrust into their role without much planning and it can be hard to create an organization system that will work for your family on the fly. If you were thrust into caregiving and are trying to figure out some sort of organization system, I highly recommend creating a Caregiver Command Center. It’s much less complicated that it sounds. Essentially, it is a space in your home where you house your caregiving life.

In my home, I have two small “Command Centers” since I don’t have any one large area to keep our life on track. One area is dedicated to knowing where everyone needs to be and the other is dedicated to housing whatever we need to get out the door. For example, my youngest son had picture day at school and my husband needed to take the order form. It placed it on the shelf near the door, under his wallet and keys so he wouldn’t forget it. Having drop zones as part of your Command Center will ensure that you don’t forget something important as you rush out the door.

Creating A Caregiver Command Center

Every home and family functions differently so you’ll need to decide on what will work best for your family. That being said, there are essentials that everyone needs to remain organized. Here are some elements to include in your Caregiver Command Center.

(This post contains affiliate links, which means I may receive a small commission if you make a purchase at no additional cost to you.)

Central Location or Command Center Zones: The best way to stay on top of your caregiving tasks is to have a specific home for all things caregiving. In my case, since I’m in a very small home, I have two “zones” where we keep important information/things. I use the outside of our kitchen pantry door as our information center. I keep a calendar, cork board and dry erase board there and keep any important paperwork that is needed for appointments on the board until after the appointment. I also have a zone near the door where we keep our keys. It has hooks for bags and backpacks and a small shelf to keep paperwork that we need to take with us. If you have a larger area, you can store your caregiving medical file and any related paperwork for your caree (applications, vendor contracts, etc.).

Keep A Visible Master Calendar: I keep an electronic calendar on my phone, but I also use a wall calendar decal so that everyone can see what we have going on. I also use different colors for different activities since I want to make sure we don’t miss them. I love using a dry erase calendar since appointments/activities get canceled and I don’t want a calendar full of scribbles. I also have a calendar on my phone so that I can make appointments on the go. It is much easier to schedule a medical appointment while you’re at the office, versus waiting until you get home to call.

File/Paperwork System: Every time I go to the doctor, I get a post-visit summary and occasionally, a referral to another doctor. I keep referrals pinned to my corkboard until I make the appointment and I have a file for medical paperwork. That way, I don’t have to spend a ton of time searching for what I need. If your caree has a medical condition, I highly recommend creating a medical file where you keep all of their paperwork. If your command center is big enough, you can keep the file there, or do what I do and only keep paperwork that requires an action in the command center and file everything else in a specific location.

Contact List: I had a client who had a list of every phone number she could possibly need taped to the wall next to her phone. It was a fantastic idea as she had dementia and had many caregivers in the home who might need to contact someone on the list. In addition to a family contact list, you should have a service provider list (think plumber, electrician, cable provider, etc.) and a medical contact list. Keeping everything on one list makes things easier when you’re in a hurry.

Medications/Supplies: If you live with your caree and are tasked with their medication, it may be helpful to create a medication space in your command center. If you don’t have space, then make a small medication zone where you do have space (preferably not in the bathroom as some medications lose effectiveness in humid spaces). I have a section of my kitchen counter dedicated to my vitamins (I take a lot) and a pretty tray on my dresser to house my prescription medication. Everything is stored in those spaces so I know exactly where they are. If your caree has special instructions for certain medications or a specific schedule to keep to, print it out and keep it in that zone.

You may have other elements to your caregiving that you will want to add to your command center. The thing about organization is that it has to work for you, so it may take a few tweaks to make your command center work for you. I have changed my systems over time as my needs change. The key is to create a workable system for your caregiving situation.

0 comment
0 FacebookTwitterPinterestEmail
How to Maximize Home Visits with Aging Parents
AgingHome & Family

How to Maximize Home Visits with Aging Parents

by Kathy Macaraeg
written by Kathy Macaraeg

If you are a long distance caregiver, or just don’t live close enough to visit your parents on a regular basis, you may not have enough time to evaluate how they are doing. Here are some ways to maximize your visits so that you get quality time but also check in on their ability to safely live independently. How to Maximize Home Visits with Aging Parents

Leave the House

This may sound like an odd suggestion, but I worked with many families who were very close and the adult children visited regularly, however, they had no idea that their parent had a hard time getting out of the house. Whether the parent had front steps that didn’t have a railing or were using a walker that couldn’t be maneuvered down the steps, there are many hazards that make it difficult for a person with mobility challenges to safely exit their home.

Even if your parent is homebound, being able to exit the home is critical to their safety. What if there is a fire? What if they forget about their limitation and try to go out for a walk. Are they able to exit and enter the house from all exits? You never know what situation could arise, so planning ahead can keep your parent safe.

This is also a great opportunity to evaluate your parent’s driving. Perhaps you ask them to drive you to the grocery store or bakery for a treat. Riding in the car with them will give you a better perspective of their driving ability.

Cook Together

You won’t just get to learn your mother’s special pasta sauce recipe, you’ll also be able to see if she is safely able to maneuver her kitchen. Does she have the heavy pots on a high shelf? Help her find a new, easier location to store them. Are the knobs on the stove difficult to turn on/off due to arthritis? Look into new knobs or a hack to help make it easier to use.

While you’re in the kitchen, check the refrigerator for old or expired food and the food supply, in general. Is the refrigerator bare? Why? Does your parent have a hard time getting out to shop or is he/she becoming forgetful about stocking necessities. I once worked with a woman who had dementia who bought soda every time we went to the store, but she never actually drank soda. She had six packs stacked in her pantry. Do you see any oddities that were never an issue before?

Do a little digging to find out why. It may be that your parent struggles with carrying groceries into the house, so isn’t able to buy much. You may want to consider setting up online grocery delivery, or at minimum, delivery of heavier pantry items.

Allow Them to Host You

Sometimes, when we see our parents looking more frail, our instinct is to jump in and do everything. It is a wonderful gesture, but the problem is, you can’t be sure of their capabilities if you don’t watch them operate independently in their own home. Let your parent set the table, turn off the stove, clear the table (with your help of course!).

Watch to see if they are struggling with any tasks. You may be able to come up with solutions together on how to simplify tasks or you may need to consider bringing help into their home.

Get One Step Ahead

While you’re there, look for safety risks or fall risks and work with your parent to address them. You can also take a look at the following household tasks that they may need help with:

  • Are there any burned out light bulbs? Change them while you are visiting so that your parent won’t attempt to do it on his/her own.
  • Is the season changing? If so, ask your parent if they have blankets or clothing that is stored up high that they may need help bringing down.
  • Are tall bookshelves strapped to the wall? You may want to consider using earthquake safety straps so that they are secure. If your parent trips and grabs a bookshelf to stop their fall, you want to be sure they are nicely secured to the wall and don’t come down on top of them.
  • If they are reaching for books or items on high shelves, make sure they have a sturdy step ladder with a handrail – and that they actually use it!
  • Have they suddenly be-friended someone new who seems to be over-involved in their lives? Do you notice money or valuables missing? Don’t just look for physical safety risks, evaluate their fraud risk as well.

What other things can you think of to make a pre-emptive “strike” to ensure your parent is making dangerous decisions?

 

0 comment
0 FacebookTwitterPinterestEmail
Simple Strategies for Caregivers to Practice Self-Care
Caregiving

Simple Strategies for Caregivers to Practice Self-Care

by Kathy Macaraeg
written by Kathy Macaraeg

Caregivers have a difficult time getting away from caregiving to take a vacation or even a spa day. However, it is critical to a caregiver’s well-being to take time for themselves and practice self-care. So, how can you work self-care into your life to preserve your well-being? I’ve rounded up 20 easy self-care activities you can do at home that take less than 20 minutes.

While you may think, I can’t even take 20 minutes for myself, remember, it is crucial to your health that you take time for self-care. It isn’t selfish to practice self-care, it is necessary.

When you don’t set aside time for self-care, it can adversely affect your health. Living with constant stress can cause a number of health issues from obesity to gastrointestinal problems and heart disease. So no matter how much you have on your plate, squeezing in time to care for yourself benefits you now and in the future.

Simple Self-Care for Caregivers

If you have been taking care of other people for so long that you don’t even know how to start practicing self-care, here are some simple things you can do at home. I promise, they don’t take a lot of time or cost a lot of money so anyone can fit them in to their busy lives.

  1. Drink a hot cup of tea, alone, in silence.
  2. Keep a gratitude journal and write three things you are grateful for at the end of each day. (If you’re struggling to come up with things, here are some givens: You woke up today, your caree woke up today, someone in the world loves you).
  3. Create a music playlist of your 5 favorite songs and play it either in the morning to get pumped for the day or at the end of the day to relax. If that is too much work, download the (free) Pandora or Spotify app and find a relaxing station to listen to before bed. My favorite is the Spa station on Pandora.
  4. Look through old photos (either in an album or on your phone) to reminisce about happy times.
  5. Do some feel-good personal grooming – paint your fingernails, file your nails and put lotion on your arms, hands and feet or do a face mask or deep hair condition.
  6. Read a magazine, book or short story.
  7. Watch a YouTube video – pick a few funny videos, a TED talk or a meditative video.
  8. Pick up a coloring book, colored pencils and get to work on this soothing activity.
  9. Take a 20 minute nap.
  10. Do a crossword puzzle or play a game of Solitaire or an online game like Candy Crush or Chess.
  11. Write a letter to your caree or a friend.
  12. Read quotes by Rumi.
  13. Take a long, hot shower or bath.
  14. Sit in silence and just breathe for 5 minutes.
  15. Bake yourself an individual treat like a microwave mug cake (you can find recipes on Pinterest or through Google).
  16. Try progressive muscle relaxation.
  17. Have a private dance party.
  18. Clear out some clutter or make a clean space to feel less chaotic
  19. Make a list of books to read, movies to watch or places you want to visit.
  20. Get yourself organized – make a to do list or figure out how to accomplish a major project.

Taking just a few minutes for yourself at home will make a big impact on your health and well-being, so go ahead, be a little selfish a few times a week. Simple Strategies for Caregivers to Practice Self-Care

Simple Strategies for Caregivers to Practice Self-Care

Simple Strategies for Caregivers to Practice Self-Care Simple Strategies for Caregivers to Practice Self-Care Simple Strategies for Caregivers to Practice Self-Care Simple Strategies for Caregivers to Practice Self-Care Simple Strategies for Caregivers to Practice Self-Care Simple Strategies for Caregivers to Practice Self-Care Simple Strategies for Caregivers to Practice Self-Care

0 comment
0 FacebookTwitterPinterestEmail
Juggling Caregiving in the Sandwich Generation
Caregiving

Juggling Caregiving in the Sandwich Generation

by Kathy Macaraeg
written by Kathy Macaraeg

One of the most challenging caregiving issues – outside of the actual caregiving tasks – is finding a way to balance caring for your elderly parent’s needs with your immediate family’s needs, particularly if you have children in the home. Parenting and caregiving are both physically, emotionally and financially draining endeavors with big rewards. Juggling Caregiving in the Sandwich Generation

You’ve heard the term “sandwich generation,” but the full impact of that role is difficult to imagine until you are living it. Your mother needs groceries but your child is home sick from school, or your mother took a fall but your child has an award ceremony. How do you manage the needs of two very different carees without feeling like you’ve failed both? Juggling Caregiving in the Sandwich Generation

Tips to Manage Being Part Of The Sandwich Generation

If you are part of the sandwich generation and are struggling to juggle parenting and caregiving, here are some tips to make your roles more manageable. Juggling Caregiving in the Sandwich Generation

Organization is Key:

Juggling the schedule of an elderly parent and children can be overwhelming. The best way to keep it all together when you are part of the sandwich generation is to set up a system to organize it all. I personally prefer an old fashioned planner, where I can drop all of my appointments on a monthly and weekly calendar and keep notes in the back. You can include contact information for all of your mother’s doctors, as well as the soccer schedule for your daughter.

Of course, the best system is the system that works best for you, so if you prefer a digital calendar, Google has a wonderful calendar that can be shared with other people. If you are coordinating rides for your children or parents, this is a great way to make sure everyone knows where they have to be.

Set up a good record-keeping system to ensure you don’t forget an important piece of information. Is it your mother who is allergic to penicillin, or is it your husband? Set up a medical file either in a binder, in a file cabinet, your phone or on your computer with important health information so you don’t forget those important details. Juggling Caregiving When You Are Part Of The Sandwich Generation

Share the Load:

Just because you live the closest to your elderly parent doesn’t mean you have to do everything yourself. I had a family who ran their mother’s care like a business. The three siblings were all part of the sandwich generation, with their own young children so they divided up the oversight of their mother, who had dementia, in a way that worked for them.

The oldest daughter lived across country, so while she couldn’t handle day-to-day tasks, she handled her mother’s finances and found services for her. She hired the caregiving agency, cleaning service, hairdresser and transportation services for her mother. The son lived an hour away, but worked nearby, so he took his mother to her medical appointments and the youngest daughter, who had young children would handle her mother’s grocery shopping and managing the caregivers.

They were a well-oiled machine who worked together. If you have a sibling who doesn’t live nearby, taking on your parent’s finances is a great way for them to contribute to your parents’ care.
If you are an only child or your siblings aren’t able to provide care, can you outsource services? Perhaps your siblings can help cover the costs to take some of the load off of you. I had a customer who had two sons, but was estranged from one of her sons. While he did not play a role in her care, he did contribute financially to help his sibling, who he was very close to.

Another possible untapped resource is friends or family of your caree. My mom helps her nephew care for his mother, who is my mom’s sister. She has also stayed with a friend who was recovering from surgery when her friend’s husband needed to travel. Don’t only look to siblings, think about both of your extended networks.

Make it a family affair:

Being part of the sandwich generation means caregiving is sometimes a family affair. Do you need to check in on your mom but your spouse isn’t available to stay home with your children? Take them with you! Your parents will love to see them and I’m sure they would love to see their grandparents. You can have them help with the simple tasks such as work around the yard, laundry or even vacuuming. I knew a family whose high school-aged daughter would spend her spring break with her grandmother, cooking lunch for the two of them and going with her on walks. What a wonderful bonding experience for the two of them!

Or, alternatively, bring your parent along on your family activities. When I was a child, my mother used to pick up my grandmother every Saturday and she would join us in whatever activity we had planned, or, we would all go to lunch together. It was wonderful to spend time with my grandmother, and even after she was in a wheelchair, we were still able to enjoy her company over lunch.

Let go of the small things:

This is a really difficult one for me, but not everything has to be perfect. Sure, the clean laundry is still sitting in the basket and the dishes are still in the sink, but the world truly will not end over these small things. Accept that sometimes, good enough is enough and forgive yourself for the imperfections. It is far more important for you to take a 20 minute nap than to have your floors mopped.

As someone with a Type A personality and a chronic illness, I struggle with this every day. I have to remind myself that my health is more important than having all of the mail sorted or the clean laundry put away. As long as the clothes are clean, we’re set!

Live in the moment:

While it is extremely overwhelming to take care of the needs of both an elderly parent and children, try to remember that the busy-ness and exhaustion of this time will not last forever and there will be a time when you will cherish the time you had with both of them. Our parents don’t live forever and our children won’t always be so young. This is really difficult to put into practice, but it if we try to focus on the joys of now and let go of the small things, it can help us accept our present.

Are you part of the sandwich generation? What are some of the ways you handle caring for elderly parents and children? Juggling Caregiving in the Sandwich Generation

Juggling Caregiving in the Sandwich Generation

Juggling Caregiving in the Sandwich Generation Juggling Caregiving in the Sandwich Generation Juggling Caregiving in the Sandwich Generation Juggling Caregiving in the Sandwich Generation Juggling Caregiving in the Sandwich Generation Juggling Caregiving in the Sandwich Generation

0 comment
0 FacebookTwitterPinterestEmail
Caregiving

Handling the Emotional Side of Caregiving

by Kathy Macaraeg
written by Kathy Macaraeg

Most caregivers step up to the plate because they love their caree. Sometimes, the process of becoming a caregiver is slow as a parent begins the aging process and other times it happens quickly due to a fall or illness. One thing that many caregivers don’t anticipate is the many emotions they will experience as a caregiver.

While love enables us to do many hard things, sometimes, love isn’t enough – particularly if you are a caregiver for an extended period. While you love your caree, being a caregiver takes a lot out of you and putting your needs on the backburner for a long time doesn’t come without consequence.

It is important to acknowledge and accept that some of the feelings that come with caregiving can be negative. Many caregivers are embarrassed to express feelings of anger or frustration so they pretend they don’t exist or become angry with themselves for having those feelings.

Feelings of anger, sadness or frustration are just as acceptable as feelings of love and happiness. And while those feelings are common and nothing to be embarrassed about, it is important to find support and explore ways to work through those feelings. The longer you stew on your feelings, the worse they can become.

Handling Challenging Caregiver Emotions

If you are struggling with the emotional side of caregiving, there are things you can do for yourself to work through your emotions.

Free and Low Time Investment for Caregiver Emotional Support

If you are just starting out on your caregiving journey or are at the early stages of caregiver stress, investing a little bit of time in your emotional well-being now can save you from stress or depression later. Here are a few things you can do to support your emotional health.

  • Carve out time for yourself to practice self-care. Take time to care for your needs to reduce frustration and stress. Some self-care tactics you may want to consider include taking time for fitnessor maintaining a healthy diet.
  • Spend time with friends or loved ones other than your caree. If you’ve been so busy that you haven’t had time to see your friends, schedule some time with your friends or other family members. Make plans for a breakfast, lunch or dinner where you can spend some time replenishing your soul.
  • Focus on gratitude. Sometimes, when we’re going through a tough time, we forget to focus on the positives in our life. Start a gratitude journal to remind yourself of the things you have to be thankful for. Even on your worst day, you can be grateful that everyone woke up alive and has a roof over their head.
  • Join a support group. Being surrounded by others in the same boat can help you feel less isolated. It is also helpful to know that your feelings are common and nothing to be ashamed of. If you don’t have time to go to actual meetings (or you can’t find meetings near you), consider reaching out through social media. There are caregiver groups on Facebook and you can participate in Tweet chats with caregivers.
  • Learn a new skill, explore a new hobby or find something that brings you joy. Taking a little time to focus on something just for you can help make you feel like life is more “normal” again. It also helps you prepare for life after caregiving.

Serious Support for Caregiver Emotional Challenge

If you are experiencing significant emotional challenges, you may need to make a bigger time or financial investment. While you may feel that you don’t have time or money to “waste” on your emotional well-being, your emotional health is important. You should treat your emotional health as you treat your (or your caree’s) physical health. If you don’t address it now, you could be looking at more serious emotional challenges that can result in physical illness as well.

Long-term stress and depression can impact your physical health so they are not to be ignored. Sometimes, we need a bit more than a small pick me up to re-set our emotional well-being. If you’re in that boat, here are some things you can do to re-set.

  • Speak with your physician. If you are struggling with depression or anxiety resulting from caregiving, speak with your physician about your situation. He or she may suggest medication, talk therapy or a change to your diet or exercise routine.
  • Speak with therapist. Many times, the hardest part about getting help is admitting you need help, closely followed by actually starting the process. There is no shame in seeing a therapist to discuss your caregiving challenges. A therapist can help you find healthy coping methods so that you are better prepared for the challenges of your role. If you are a caregiver for a difficult person, it is even more important to seek help to adapt to your situation.
  • Hire help. Even if you have a tight budget, it may be necessary to your emotional well-being to outsource tasks or caregiving. Freeing up time can help you incorporate self-care into your routine, which can improve your overall well-being. You can also bring in a paid caregiver to assist with personal care or some activities of daily living that you don’t enjoy or your parent prefer you don’t perform. If you are on a limited budget, there may be resources available to your family.
  • Find a support group. I know I offer this as a solution above, but this is even more important if you are truly struggling. If you don’t know where to look for a support group, ask your loved one’s doctor, check your local hospital or medical center or do a Google search. If your loved one has a particular illness, reach out to their local association’s organization (think American Cancer Association, Diabetes Association, etc.) to find a local group.

 

Investing time in your emotional health is as important as investing in your (or your loved one’s) physical health. On average, caregivers spend between 5 – 10 years in their role. That’s a long time to put off caring for your needs.

0 comment
0 FacebookTwitterPinterestEmail
Caregiving

Hiring the Right Caregiver

by Kathy Macaraeg
written by Kathy Macaraeg

Making the decision to hire a caregiver is stressful. Once you decide your aging parent needs outside help, you need to take the next step to find the right person. Whether you are hiring an independent caregiver or going through an agency, you need to be sure that your hired caregiver is a good fit for your family. How do you know if you’ve hired the right person? Hiring the Right Caregiver

I have worked with many families over the years and have met good and bad caregivers. There are certain traits that were common among good caregivers. Hiring the Right Caregiver

Signs You Found the Right Caregiver

  1. Respectful: A good caregiver treats your aging parent with respect and kindness, regardless of your parent’s cognitive ability. He/she looks your parent in the eye, speaks directly to him/her and addresses him/her directly in a respectful, not condescending tone.
  1. Patient and Flexible: Not everything will always go according to schedule. Our caree may be difficult because they are frustrated with their situation. A good caregiver is patient and flexible and understands the challenges of caring for others and allows their caree to go at their own pace.
  1. Able to Empathize: The ability to empathize is an important, yet challenging skill for many. To be able to understand what a client is going through and be able to ease their frustration or discomfort helps your parent let them in and share concerns with them.
  1. Trustworthy: You are not only entrusting this person with your parent’s care, you are letting them into your parent’s home. Knowing you can trust them with both your parent’s life and their valuables is critical. You don’t want to constantly worry about either.
  1. Passionate: Caregiving is not a high-paying job. Even if you are paying more than $30 an hour for a service, the caregiver is likely making minimum wage, or just slightly above minimum wage. There are many jobs that pay the same rate but are easier to do or don’t require the level of commitment that caregiver requires. Make sure your caregiver is in it because they truly care about helping others and not because they like the idea of relatively unsupervised work (particularly if your parent has cognitive decline or communication challenges).
  1. Forward-Thinking: A good caregiver comes up with ideas or addresses potential problems before they arise. They can see changes in your parent’s demeanor or well-being and bring it up immediately, rather than just going through the motions and waiting for your direction.
  1. Thick-Skinned: Even the sweetest, kindest person may be not-so-nice to their caregiver. A good caregiver understands that it isn’t about them and doesn’t take the behavior personally. They understand that the behaviors may be due to not feeling well or frustration over the situation.
  1. Creative: Sometimes, particularly when working with someone with dementia, a caregiver needs to find unique ways to cajole a client into doing important activities of daily living. Additionally, a creative caregiver will find activities to do with a caree outside of sitting them in front of the TV.
  1. Professional: A good caregiver always remains professional, even when dealing with embarrassing issues. They don’t make your aging parent feel shame about a health condition, physical or mental decline or inability to perform activities of daily living.
  1. Organized: A good caregiver is able to manage many tasks in an organized manner. They can keep track of medications, dosage information and scheduling needs of your parent.
  1. Reliable: A good caregiver arrives on time and ready to work. They don’t frequently call in sick, show up late or leave early.
  1. Physically Strong: Caregiving isn’t just about emotions and professionalism. Many caregiving tasks require physical strength. Caregivers need to be able to safely move their clients, assist with bathing, etc. Your parent may not require these tasks immediately, but if their condition declines, your caregiver will need to be able to handle the changes safely.

There are many other signs of a good caregiver, but these 12 characteristics are a good indicator that your caregiver is the right person for the job. Hiring the Right Caregiver Hiring the Right Caregiver Hiring the Right Caregiver Hiring the Right Caregiver Hiring the Right Caregiver

Hiring the Right Caregiver

 

0 comment
0 FacebookTwitterPinterestEmail
Newer Posts
Older Posts