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What do Anxiety Dreams Mean?

by Kendall VanBlarcom
written by Kendall VanBlarcom

If you are having anxiety dreams on a regular basis, chances are there are real life stresses in your life that are in need of attention.

Why do we have stress dreams? Because, when you are sleeping, your mind is still active. When you are stressed and anxious, your mind is processing your emotions throughout your life, regardless if it is day or night. This is why personal worries and fears can appear in your dreams.

Everyone Experiences Stress

Stress is something we all have in our lives, but for some people it becomes an all encompassing issue. To live your best life, you need to learn ways to control your stress so that it isn’t controlling you.

Sometimes there are life events that add to your personal stress. Some examples of this include job loss, losing a family member, or moving to a new city. Talking through changes in life with a personal consultant can help you to diffuse building stress associate with life changes.

Stress Can Cause Anxiety Dreams

When we are upset, it can lead to sleep issues. For some, that means having trouble falling asleep and for others it means having poor sleep and upsetting dreams once sleep is achieved. When there is an unbalanced amount of rest to wakefulness within a night’s sleep, more dreaming can occur.

If you are worried and having trouble sleeping, or if you are experiencing anxiety dreams, know that there are solutions. With practice, you can learn to control stress in your life.

And maintaining a healthy sleep schedule is vital because there is a strong relationship between sleep and mental health. Sleep is an essential component to keeping your mind and body healthy. Studies have shown there is a link to not sleeping and episodes of depression. You owe it to yourself to learn how to relax and sleep well.

Ways to Relax Before Bed

Recognizing you need help relaxing is a first step. Once you acknowledge there is problem, you can begin to start using relaxation strategies to improve your sleep. Some find relief through breathing and relaxation techniques. Others can improve their rest by not allowing stressors into the bedroom. This means keeping bedrooms free of devices and technology. Your bedroom is a place to relax, so instead of watching the news before bed opt to read an enjoyable book or listen to music that brings you joy.

If you are already implementing relaxation techniques and you still find yourself waking up in the middle of the night, know that it happens to everyone now and again. We all have anxiety dreams and we all worry in the middle of the night sometimes. Be kind to yourself. Try to relax. If you simply can’t go back to sleep, get out of bed. Spending time in bed reprimanding yourself for being awake is not helpful. Instead, get up for a bit, clear your mind, then return back to bed and try to sleep again.

Anxiety dreams are often connected to stresses in your day-to-day life. Take control of your stress and your sleep will improve.

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Conditions & Treatments

Tips finding the Right Therapist or Counselor

by Kendall VanBlarcom
written by Kendall VanBlarcom

When you decide you need someone to talk to, know that finding the right therapist can take a bit of research and time. But, once you have found a professional you are comfortable with, it will be easier to achieve the life changes you desire.

In fact you may find a personal consultant is a better fit, there are differences between talk therapists and personal consultants. Talk to people you trust and do a bit of research to find the right therapist for you.

Seek a Specialist

When you are considering who might be a good fit, think about why you are considering seeing someone in the first place. For example, if you are an older adult or a caregiver, know that Kendall Van Blarcom, the founder of Van Blarcom Consulting, has been successfully serving these communities for years.

Specialists are available for a wide range of issues. While it isn’t a necessity, it is possible seeing a specialist will bring you the results you are seeking. There are many areas of mental health. So, if you are seeking to heal from an eating disorder, the best use of your time may be to seek out a therapist who is specialized in that field, for instance.

Ask Questions When Finding the Right Therapist

Once you have the contact information for a therapist of interest, or if you have a list of possible candidates, reach out to ask any questions you might have. Below are a handful of possible questions.

When you ask your questions, recognize how you feel about the relationship. Do you feel at ease talking to the therapist? Does the counselor seem interested in you and your situation?

Set Goals

Once you have accomplished your task of finding the right therapist or counselor, think about what the goal of therapy is for you. Write down your initial thoughts about goal setting. Then, you and your potential therapist can discuss how those goals may be obtained and what the timeframe might be. Of course, when you are starting therapy, these goals are more of roadmap than a guarantee. Still, it’s good to know what you are striving for so you can feel the accomplishment of achieving results.

Once you identify your goals and decide where you will begin your journey to healing, you are on a path to a better life. Reach out to take the first step and get started.

Build Relationships

While accomplishments may be important, when finding a therapist a good relationship takes priority. Often the best results come when you work with a therapist who is accepting and warm. These traits can be even more essential than degrees from prestigious universities or professional accolades. You want to share your experiences with someone you feel comfortable with and trust.

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Healthy Living

How to Deal with Adult Bullies

by Kendall VanBlarcom
written by Kendall VanBlarcom

When people think of bullies, they often think of kids on playgrounds. But, the truth is that adult bullying is a real problem. Verbal bullying doesn’t end as we get older. Individuals continue to use bullying, at every age, to feel powerful over another person.

If you have been bullied, Kendall Van Blarcom is available to help you cope with any personal issues that are interfering with your day-to-day life.

Verbal Adult Bullying

Despite the sticks and stones saying, words can be hurtful. Too often, adult bullies try to make themselves feel more important or dominant by using language that is demeaning. It can be incredibly hurtful to the person on the receiving end and can even lead to issues with anxiety and depression.

Sometimes the bully themselves are hurting and in need of care. Some adults have difficulty controlling their emotions. So, if they are experiencing anxiety and fear, they lash out. In these instances the bullying may be unintentional but it can still be incredibly harmful.

Covert bullying is also a reality. This type of bullying can be harder to identify because it is more subtle than more outwardly aggressive forms of bullying, but it still exists. If someone is making harmful jokes at another’s expense or is intentionally hurting someone with social exclusion or embarrassment, it can have the same effects as overt forms of bullying.

What to Do About Adult Bullies

Usually bullies are picking on others they see as weaker so it’s important to stand up for yourself. Of course, this can be difficult to do. This may be particularly true if the bully is a family member, friend, or caregiver. These close relationships are not immune to toxic behavior.

There are different types of bullying and instances of this toxic behavior can happen in a variety of places within a variety of relationships. You can learn more about where it happens and how to respond by talking through the situation and doing research on the behavior. To learn more about why you are feeling how you are feeling, reach out for help.

And remember, you can not change another person or their behavior but you can take steps to protect yourself. If the bullying is happening in a workplace or structured environment, report the behavior. If it is happening in a domestic situation, let your situation be known by a trusted friend, confident, or counselor.

Recovering from an Adult Bully

If you find you are having trouble sleeping or are experiencing anxiety as a result of a bullying relationship, look into counseling to learn how to cope with the impacts of bullying. The impacts of these toxic relationship are real and unhealthy. It is important you take care of your own wellbeing and move away from the relationship.

Often, combining healthy lifestyle changes—from meditation to exercise—with professional counseling can help individuals to improve their quality of life in the aftermath of an experience with a bully.

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Aging

Controlling Confusion in Older Adults

by Kendall VanBlarcom
written by Kendall VanBlarcom

There are many who find themselves getting in family arguments about controlling confusion in older adults. This is because it is common for family members and their caregivers to notice changes in behavior, and cognitive abilities, over time. When these shifts happen unexpectedly, a family caregiver might view the behavior as irrational or paranoid. But, for the senior experiencing the confusion, it is very real.

A change in your loved one’s behavior could be due to an undiagnosed cognitive impairment. Sometimes these manifest themselves as fears and worries. Or there may be complaints and confusion. In more extreme cases, shifts can be signifiers of dementia.

Reach out to a personal counselor and talk through difficulties. You don’t have to go through this alone. Discuss issues with a professional and find ways to connect with other caregivers. Controlling confusion means a group of people are working toward a better situation, together.

Evaluate Cognitive Health

It is important to understand what is happening underneath shifts in behavior. There may be dementia issues that need to be addressed. Because, even though there are no known cures for Alzheimer’s and other forms of dementia, it is helpful to get a diagnosis as soon as possible. With knowledge, you can discover paths to solutions, including caregiver resources, medications, and ways to minimize stress or environmental triggers.

Any problems or changes in behavior should be addressed with a healthcare provider to see if there are any medical issues to be resolved. But, also remember that if you are seeing a doctor who specializes on physical ailments, they may not be the best resource for mental health issues. If more answers are needed, consider setting an appointment with a specialist.

Focus on Emotional Connections

While you may not believe what an individual is saying, it helps if you can believe that they believe it. For instance, if someone is hallucinating trying to convince them that nothing is there will only create a frustrating and argumentative environment. Dementia can be incredibly detrimental to an individual, both physically and emotionally. Dismissing someone’s worries is not helpful.

Everyone wants to feel loved and safe. For that reason, if someone is experiencing confusion, sometimes the first priority is to give them reassurance. When controlling confusion, try stepping away from the situation causing stress and focus on positive experiences, such as listening to music or talking about a happy memory. Counseling can also help with keeping harmony.

Reach Out for Support

It is important to realize you are not alone. Sometimes another individual in a similar situation will have tips on how to deescalate emotions in stressful situations with an older adult experiencing confusion. If you don’t know other caregivers personally, online resources may be helpful.

If you are concerned about an older adult in your life or if you are a caregiver caring for a senior and have seen changes in behavior and personality, know there is help available. Changes in behavior can occur for a variety of reasons. It is important to seek help and find solutions for you and your family.

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Caregiving After a Stroke
Caregiving

Caregiving After a Stroke

by Kendall VanBlarcom
written by Kendall VanBlarcom

Suffering a stroke is a life threatening experience. Actually, it’s the fourth leading cause of death in the U.S. Early intervention can save someone’s life, but there may still be some effects from it such as speech difficulties, drastic decline in cognitive abilities and motor skills. Caregiving After a Stroke

Caring for someone who has suffered a stroke can be incredibly exhausting. The person needs mental, emotion, and physical care, and many times around the clock. These demands can seem like too much for many caregivers who also have a family of their own and a job.

Depression and anxiety are common effects of someone who cares for a stroke patient, especially if he/she does not receive support from others. This is why it is extremely important to seek support for stroke victims. Caregiving After a Stroke

Nursing

An at-home nurse or a home health aide can help take care of the physical care. Medication management, bathing, and other essential daily needs can be taken care of by someone like this, which would take the pressure off of you as a caregiver. You can still provide as much care as you feel you can do, but it’s nice to have someone there as well.

Meal Program

Cooking three meals a day can be overwhelming. Having a meal program can ensure your loved one receives three meals a day that will keep him/her healthy, without causing you to have to take the time and effort to make them. You can still make some meals or bring desserts for your loved one, but you’ll feel much better when the entire responsibility no longer relies on you.

Transportation Caregiving After a Stroke

Taking your loved one to appointments throughout the week can be time consuming and stressful when you have a lot of other things to do. This time can be freed up by setting up transportation for your loved one. Some medical facilities have a transportation program, so contact them to find out if there is one. Some insurance carriers also have a program, so check with your loved one’s insurance.

Emotional Support

All of the support you seek doesn’t have to be for your loved one, you need some, too. Personal consulting could be great for you. When your loved one experiences a stroke, it’s frightening and sad. You could have lost your mom, dad, or other loved one. While you’re thankful for that, you’re still compounded with the thoughts that you still have your loved one, but he/she isn’t the same. On top of that, 25% of stroke victims end up suffering another one within five years. This can be extremely scary for you. Caregiving After a Stroke
Personal consulting with Kendall Van Blarcom is here for you. Understanding what you’re going through, and helping you navigate this twist in life will help you feel a lot better about it all. It can be a major relief to know you truly aren’t alone in this situation. You have help, and that help is just a phone call away. Schedule an introductory session with Kendall Van Blarcom today. He is waiting to help you through this difficult time in your life.

Caregiving After a Stroke

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Aging

Elderly Mental Health Statistics

by Kendall VanBlarcom
written by Kendall VanBlarcom

Like every population, there is a lot of variety among older adults. But it can be helpful to talk about elderly mental health statistics so we know when to take notice. Because while many have good mental health, others are vulnerable to mental health issues and cognitive deterioration.

A Growing Population

The world population is aging. It is estimated about 8.5 percent of people worldwide are aged 65 and over and this percentage is expected to rise to nearly 17 percent of the world’s population by 2050.

It is common for mental health issues to be ignored or misdiagnosed by healthcare providers, family members, and the individuals experiencing the issues themselves. Sometimes, because of the stigma around mental health issues, people are slow to reach out for help. It stands to reason that more older adults will bring more mental health issues. It’s important to reach out for help as soon and you need it.

Increased Risk of Issues

There can be an increased risk of mental health problems as we age. Some issues include chronic pain, a loss of loved ones, loneliness, isolation, and losses in day-to-day capabilities. There is also the very real problem of elder abuse. This is when a caregiver relationship is harmful, when physical, financial, or verbal mistreatment is present. All of these can result in anxiety and depression.

Another issue that can arise is dementia which manifests as a deterioration in cognitive abilities, from memory to behavior. This is not a normal part of aging and should be addressed. Dementia can cause much stress in a home. Families and caregivers are likely to crave additional support when they are facing the emotional, financial, and physical pressures of dementia.

How to Age Well

While elderly mental health statistics can be frightening, there are active ways to age healthfully. Creating environments that are supportive and nurturing can have lasting results. Paths to healthy aging include securing safe housing (whether that is making changes to a home to prevent accidents or looking into assisted living), providing social support to an elderly individual and being sure that both physical and mental health initiatives are in place so the person can remain as healthy as possible.

Monitoring mental and physical health means any issues can be detected early and managed. If possible, talk through any issues with a trusted professional and work to create an environment of community care. This is all essential because our bodies change as we age. All of these adjustments in our chemistry, mobility, and shifts in familial and friendship bonds have an impact on our health.

Sometimes there are problems causing big issues that can be addressed with support. For example, providing safe transportation to an elderly individual could change their life. A weekly shopping trip could improve their mood and help them to maintain community connections leading to lower stress levels and increased happiness. If transportation isn’t the issue, know that some report the same results when they pursue hobbies or schedule regular exercise. In both cases, you are exercising your mind and body, leading to good health.

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Aging

Signs of Anger Issues

by Kendall VanBlarcom
written by Kendall VanBlarcom

If you are experienced as a caregiver for older adults, it is possible you have seen signs of anger issues. For some, anger outburst happen because a senior citizen is feeling vulnerable, which can magnify emotions and reactions. In separate cases, anger occurs in response to other problems, whether that is illness, pain, or memory loss.

When you see signs of anger issues in an individual you are caring for—whether those indicators are physical abuse, verbal abuse or periods of paranoia—talk through your experiences with a professional to find relief.

Coping with Physical and Verbal Abuse

If you are caring for someone who has an illness that is causing diminished cognitive skills, sometimes the medical issue causes personality changes. It is important to not blame yourself for an illness you cannot control. Be sure to take the steps you need to take care of yourself.

One first step may be to get a clear diagnosis of what is happening with your loved one. With a complete evaluation, you and your loved one’s healthcare provider may be able to land on the root of their personality change. With this knowledge, you can take the next steps needed to secure a healthy home.

In addition to making health and checkups a priority for the one you are caring for, be sure to take care of your own physical and mental health as well. Stay healthy with a proper diet, exercise, sleep, and socializing. Talk through any problems you are having so any negative thoughts can be released and address it when you are experiencing anger from a loved one.

Paranoid Behavior

Among the signs of anger issues is when an individual you are caring for accuses you of intending to harm them. It is important you bring this up, and any other examples of paranoia or hallucinations, with a doctor. This behavior could be the result of Alzheimer’s disease, dementia, or another serious issue in need of attention. Possibly a shift in medications can help. Getting professional help is typically the right place to start as trying to convince someone that their thoughts are unreal may only increase their anger.

Everyone has good days and bad days, but no one should suffer abuse. If you see signs of anger issues in an older loved one or in a senior citizen you are caring for, reach out for help and support. It may take some time and persistence, but communication within families and among professionals can lead to solutions.

As a caregiver, you need to take care of yourself. After all, if you aren’t healthy you are not able to take care of anyone else. Deal with any negative aspects of your life. It is important to learn how to take care of the caregiver, too. Change is inevitable and it is impossible to turn back time, but there are ways to adapt to changes. Work toward a stress-free household. Utilize the support available to maintain a healthy environment, for yourself and your loved ones.

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Aging

When You Should Compromise

by Kendall VanBlarcom
written by Kendall VanBlarcom

Compromising can be a difficult thing to do with people. While it’s a great way to make two people happy about a situation, it doesn’t always work out that way. That’s because there are some situations in which you shouldn’t compromise. Knowing when you should compromise will help you save time and energy. When You Should Compromise

What It Means to Compromise

You probably know what it means to compromise. When two people do not agree on something, each person decides to do a little of what the other person wants, and the other person does the same. That way not one person gets everything he or she wants, but both people get a little of what is wanted. The problem is that it doesn’t always end up that way. Sometimes, one person can’t give a little because that would mean forfeiting it all. In the end, a compromise doesn’t help that person.

It’s true that some people will perceive compromising as losing no matter what. For example, a person may not be willing to give up any of what he wants, and if that’s the case, a compromise cannot be reached. Usually, these people feel that compromises don’t help them. They want what they want, and that’s that.
If you’re one of these people, it might be time to consider when you should compromise.

Situations When You Should Compromise

Instead of refusing to compromise on everything, the following are some situations in which you should.

  • When You’re Doing Something with Someone

When you’re trying to find something to do with someone else, you should compromise. It’s only fair since that person will be experiencing whatever you decide to do.

  • When Someone Is Affected By the Decision

Going along the same lines as the first one, this situation for when you should compromise has to do with when someone is affected by your decision. For example, you want to move to a new home, but you take care of your grandchildren each day. The new home is not kid-friendly, so you probably should compromise and find another place that you like, but is more kid friendly.

  • When Working in a Group

When you’re working on achieving a goal with a few people, you should try to compromise. Everyone has their own idea on how something should be done, so everyone should be able to have some input in achieving the goal.

  • With Yourself

You should always compromise with yourself. This is a big part of self-control. Almost everyone in the world wants to do everything they want, but that’s not always the right move. Being able to choose only some of the things you want to do can help you from getting out of control with money, time, or even emotionally.

When You Should Not Compromise

Just like there are situations when you should compromise, there are some when you should not.

  • When the Decision Only Affects You

You have the right to do what you want and need to do. Some people want to take that right from you because they believe they know what’s best for you. As much as the other person wants to compromise with you, when it comes to your life, your decisions are yours – just as the consequences are yours.

  • When Using Your Own Money

When you’re using your money on yourself, you shouldn’t have to compromise with others on how you use it. You may have made financial mistakes in the past, but the consequences are yours to deal with, so people shouldn’t be able to tell you what to do.

  • When Taking Care of Yourself

Many people compromise with loved ones on the best way to be cared for as they get older. While it can be a stress reliever to compromise in this situation, you don’t have to. Again, your life is yours, and if you’re able to competently make decisions, you still have the right to make them.

Getting More Help

While you may know when you should and shouldn’t compromise, what comes afterwards is the hard part. Dealing with others’ reactions when you don’t compromise can be difficult to deal with no matter the situation.

 

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Why Senior Citizens Should Own a Pet
Pets

Why Senior Citizens Should Own a Pet

by Kendall VanBlarcom
written by Kendall VanBlarcom

Many people own pets, but no population needs one more than senior citizens. Owning a pet has many benefits that can help seniors feel better about their life and improve their health. If you’re considering a pet, read about all of the advantages of one here.

The Perks Pets Provide

Pets are friends. They are loyal and can gauge how you feel and what you are thinking. They know when you’re sad, happy, and will try to make you feel better. While this may sound like invented benefits from a dog lover, there’s scientific evidence behind it.

The American Heart Association has studied the effects of dogs, and have found that it can lower the risk of heart disease and can even lead to greater longevity. Some other studies identified by HelpGuide.org finds that dog owners are less likely to suffer from depression. Lower blood pressure, and higher levels of serotonin and dopamine are all associated with owning a dog. It’s even been found that people who own pets over the age of 65 visit the doctor fewer times. Why Senior Citizens Should Own a Pet

Researchers at the University of California – Davis have found that Alzheimer’s patients experience less stress and anxiety when they have a dog or cat. It’s the ability to touch the pet and the nonverbal communication that helps them stay calm.

Caregivers also find that clients who own pets are much easier to work with due to two reasons:

  1. The pet provides stress relief to the caregiver.
  2. The client or family member is much calmer, so it makes it easier to work with him or her.

Why Pets Help Seniors

The reasoning behind the therapeutic benefits of owning a dog is that humans need to touch. When they pet or hug a dog, it affects their body and mind. It calms and relaxes people, and that is what sparks the lower blood pressure and cholesterol. It also boosts serotonin and dopamine levels (related to your mood), which helps you feel happier. Why Senior Citizens Should Own a Pet

What some people don’t consider is that a pet such as a dog needs exercise. This can help a lot of seniors get out of the house, which increases their physical activity. This, in turn, helps fight many medical conditions.
Companionship is another consideration. When you don’t have anyone around you, it’s more likely you’ll feel lonely. With a pet, you’ll have that animal right by your side keeping you company.

What You Should Own

Dogs provide the most benefits, but cats are good too. The only disadvantage to owning a cat is that you don’t get the exercise, as you do with a dog. However, seniors who have limited mobility may find that a cat is perfect for them.

If dogs and cats aren’t your style of pet ownership, birds, hamsters, and other small pets can be beneficial as well. It’s the act of holding and petting animals that will help you feel better mentally and physically.

The Only Thing Pets Do Not Provide

Unfortunately, pets cannot have a conversation with you. While they do have their own way of communicating, they simply cannot talk with you like a personal confidant can. That’s why Kendall Van Blarcom is here for you. With personal consulting sessions along with a pet, you will have everything you need. You’ll be able to cuddle with your pet, get the exercise he and you need, and then have a good old fashioned conversation with someone who understands you and wants to listen to you.
Contact Kendall Van Blarcom today for more information on how personal consulting can help you.

Why Senior Citizens Should Own a Pet Why Senior Citizens Should Own a Pet Why Senior Citizens Should Own a Pet Why Senior Citizens Should Own a Pet Why Senior Citizens Should Own a Pet

Why Senior Citizens Should Own a Pet

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