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10 Mantras for Dementia Care Providers

by Richard Bitner
written by Richard Bitner

Providing dementia care for a family member is rarely easy. But it gets easier if you regularly remind yourself about positive aspects of caregiving. The following eleven mantras for dementia care providers offer needed perspective to family caregivers and professional care providers alike. 10 Mantras for Dementia Care Providers

  1. “I Am Creating Positive Change.”

Caregivers sometimes feel like nothing they do is really making a difference. During tough moments, it can be hard to see the positive impact that you’re having on your loved one’s life. It pays to remind yourself how much tougher those moments could be without your presence.

  1. “Quality of Lifeand Quality of CognitionAren’t the Same Thing.”

When a loved one starts to lose their cognitive abilities to dementia, it can be easy to confuse this with a loss of quality of life. While the two are linked, it is still possible to live a happy, comfortable, and meaningful life in the face of a dementia diagnosis. As a caregiver, it’s important not to lose sight of this distinction.

  1. “My Loved One Needs Affirmation, Not Correction.”

Even experienced caregivers can sometimes fall for the trap of trying to correct or argue with someone suffering from dementia. When your loved one is confused, remind yourself that trying to correct them will only make things more confusing. By affirming their experience — even if it’s mistaken — you will help them feel more comfortable, at ease, and secure.

  1. “Caregiving Missteps Are Learning Opportunities.”

No one has ever provided care for a loved one without making missteps along the way, especially when caring for someone with an illness as complicated as dementia. Remember that mistakes almost always present an opportunity to learn and become a better caregiver.

  1. “There’s Nothing Wrong with Asking for Help.”

Caregivers often take the weight of the world onto their shoulders, feeling like it’s their responsibility to bear the burden. At a certain point, we all need to recognize that we need help from others. That might be from family. It might be from friends. It might be from professional dementia careproviders. No matter who it’s from, it’s crucial that you allow yourself to ask for help when it’s needed.

  1. “Self-Care Is an Essential Part of Caregiving.”

As a caregiver, any moment you spend on your own well-being can feel like an indulgence. “How can I be focused on myself when my loved one’s care needs are so much greater than my own?” But without taking care of yourself, you won’t be able to adequately care for your loved one. And remember: caregiving isn’t supposed to be a case of trading your quality of life for your loved one’s.

  1. “There’s Always Something New for Me to Learn.”

The learning curve never truly ends when you’re providing dementia care for a loved one. Whether you’re learning from other caregivers at a local support group, acquiring information from medical professionals, or taking part in an online community like The Caregiver’s Voice, there are always new perspectives and new information for you to learn.

  1. “Routine and Structure Shouldn’t Be Taken for Granted.”

Routine, structure, and familiarity can be crucial to those coping with dementia. Familiar surroundings offer comfort and security, helping those with dementia manage moments of stress and anxiety. Caregiver’s shouldn’t underrate how important a familiar routine can be to their own lives. Creating a stable routine gives you much less to worry about, allowing you to focus on care responsibilities.

  1. “There’s No Such Thing as The Perfect Caregiver.”

When a loved one’s well-being is in your hands, it’s easy to expect perfection from yourself. But there’s no such thing as the perfect caregiver, and caring for someone with a memory disorder will put you in situations where there’s no perfect solution.

  1. “I’m Not Alone.”

Memory disorders create confusion and disorientation for those with dementia and their caregivers. When caring for a loved one with dementia, it’s common to feel lost and alone. But there are millions of people who are in your shoes or who have walked miles in them at some point in their lives.
10 Mantras for Dementia Care Providers
10 Mantras for Dementia Care Providers 10 Mantras for Dementia Care Providers 10 Mantras for Dementia Care Providers 10 Mantras for Dementia Care Providers 10 Mantras for Dementia Care Providers 10 Mantras for Dementia Care Providers 10 Mantras for Dementia Care Providers
 
 
 

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How to Handle Caregiving Related Jealousy
Caregiving

How to Handle Caregiving Related Jealousy

by Richard Bitner
written by Richard Bitner

Caregiving can be an emotional situation, one that leads to unexpected feelings and conflicts. One of the more the common feelings felt in caregiving situations is jealousy. How to Handle Caregiving Related Jealousy
Feelings of jealousy are rarely expected by families who are starting out with caregiving. But anyone who’s seen the way caregiving relationships develop will understand how these feelings happen. Whether care is provided by a family member, a professional caregiver, or a combination of both, caregivers are often the targets of jealousy.
At Visiting Angels®, feelings of jealousy are something we commonly deal with in caregiving situations. Here are a few tips we’ve picked up over the years on how to handle caregiving-related jealousy.

Questions to Ask About Caregiver-Related Jealousy

Jealousy toward caregivers can occur in a number of different ways, and the best way to address feelings of jealousy will depend on the specific situation. Key factors include who is providing care, where jealous feelings are coming from, and the severity of the situation.
Who’s Providing Care?When a caregiver is the target of jealous feelings, who’s providing care makes a big difference. If a family member is providing care, existing family dynamics will need to be considered when addressing feelings of jealousy. If care is provided by a professional caregiver, the lack of pre-existing dynamics could make it easier to resolve feelings of jealousy or — if necessary — bring in a new caregiver.
Who’s Feeling Jealous?Jealousy toward caregivers can come from different people, and sometimes comes from multiple people at once. Usually, jealous feelings are coming from someone in one of the following categories:

  • The Care Recipient.Sometimes, the person receiving care can become possessive of their relationship with their caregiver. They may feel jealous that the caregiver is spending time with other clients, their own family, or taking care of themselves.
  • The Recipient’s Spouse.Some of the most powerful feelings of jealousy come from spouses of people receiving care services. Spouses start to feel neglected or unwanted as their partner is cared for by someone else.
  • The Recipient’s Children.Care recipients’ children sometimes experience feelings of jealousy similar to those felt by spouses. They may feel that a family caregiver has become favored by the person being cared for, or they may feel like a professional caregiver has replaced them in their role of supporting their parent.

How Severe Is the Situation?How you approach feelings of jealousy in a caregiving situation will depend on how severe those feelings are. The more jealous a person is, the more sensitive you may need to be in handling the situation. You may also need to take mental and cognitive health factors into account. Cognitive decline and mental health challenges can make it difficult to address these situations directly. In such cases, it is better to manage and accommodate jealous feelings rather than tackle them head on.

Addressing Jealousy Toward Caregivers

“Anytime you’re trying to address feelings of jealousy, it’s important to be sensitive to everyone’s feelings,” says Larry Meigs, CEO and President of Visiting Angels and a twenty-year veteran of the caregiving industry. “Emotions run high in these discussions. So, a confrontational approach is rarely constructive.”
Larry says that when feelings of jealousy are coming from a care recipient, it is often important to help the person receiving care see things from the caregiver’s perspective. “Sometimes, seniors don’t realize the expectations they’re placing on caregivers and how those expectations impact caregivers’ lives. It’s easy for jealous feelings to crop up without thinking through why a caregiver might need to spend time with other people.”
In cases where jealousy is coming from a spouse or another family member, Larry suggests framing the discussion around what’s best for the person receiving care. “Ultimately, we all want what’s best for our loved ones. So, if you can help someone see that their loved one needs their caregiver to age happily and comfortably, that can help defuse jealousy feelings.”
If feelings of jealousy can’t be resolved, Larry says that a change of caregivers may be necessary. “Home care agencies know that a change of caregiver can sometimes be positive,” he says. “That might mean bringing in a professional caregiver so that a family member is no longer the target of jealousy. Or it might mean changing your loved one’s home care professional.”
At Visiting Angels, our Select Your Caregiver® program has helped families find the right caregiver for their loved ones. By focusing on both the physical and emotional needs of clients, this program has made it easier for seniors to find a care provider that they — and their family members — are comfortable with.
If you’re currently looking for a caregiver for your loved one, we invite you to learn more about our Select Your Caregiver program onlineor to contact your local Visiting Angels office.
How to Handle Caregiving Related Jealousy How to Handle Caregiving Related Jealousy How to Handle Caregiving Related Jealousy How to Handle Caregiving Related Jealousy How to Handle Caregiving Related Jealousy How to Handle Caregiving Related Jealousy How to Handle Caregiving Related Jealousy

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Organizing Care for an Aging Loved One
Caregiving

Hardest Most Rewarding Job is Caregiving

by Kimberly Johnson
written by Kimberly Johnson

Whether or not your job includes working outside enduring the elements or seeing others suffer with no ability to change their situation, caregiving for a loved one possibly could be the most difficult job of all. Why, because it is a job from the heart and not one easily left behind once you leave the job site. Hardest Most Rewarding Job is Caregiving
How do you leave loved ones who are unable to go out and do much else for themselves without a saddened tug on your heart? Your heart wants you to know to that it is alright to do for yourself, but you feel torn as you see the loneliness in your loved one’s eyes. Then you feel selfish because, in your pit of despair, you desperately fear what is going to be left of your own life after years of caregiving to another. You cause sheer inner hatred by thinking of what the future might bring once the hardest job of your life is over. Do you talk about your feelings? Very little, as only those who have gone through what you are living through have the ability to understand. Of course, you want to run. But where? Your nerves, if you have any left, are shattered.
The fear cemented deep within your soul is your lifeblood of comfort you as you watch time flying forward for both you and your loved one. You wonder whether or not there ever will be a day that you don’t live in fear of what is going to happen the next day or even the next minute. Say “hello” to your loved one on a beautiful day in a wonderful mood that not even you think could be broken. Then a feather drops and causes your temper to flair with words you know that one day you are going to wish you had never said. Being able to forgive and forget what both do or say during heated times possibly is how to save yourself when handling the painful job of being a caregiver. In addition, if you are a caregiver, you must allow yourself to give and take love and positive strokes for of from each of you.
Too frequently you cling to your hurt feelings because anger often becomes the mode of exchange with your love one. I can become angry with myself because I wonder how I would be reacting if I were watching my own body fall apart. How would you like to watch your body fall apart? This answers the question as to why caregivers often cry themselves to sleep. The crumbling of a body is not an easy thing to watch. As you hold your tears back, you do all that you can to emotionally distance yourself. In reality, all that is left to do is hope that you are being kind enough to the person who is deteriorating before your eyes. You allow yourself to cry when you leave because your tears are for them. Their eyes tell the story of the sorrow that only one losing the use of his or her body could feel.
Run home, it is ok. Go cry, it is ok. You need to relieve yourself of your feelings of sorrow and fear that only caregiving can produce. If you understand the words describing the emotions of this caregiver, I think that both of us are learning the meaning of the word “caregiver.”
As a caregiver, I find that I am unable to offer you an exact definition. Caregiving could mean loving enough to visit frequently. Or caregiving might mean that you are your loved one’s leaning post. You could be his or her full-time caregiver. Caregiving often is defined as being able to help someone who is unable to care completely for herself or himself without assistance. Be sure to remember that the word “care” is combined with the word “giving.” You are giving a part of yourself to care for someone you love during her or his time of need. No matter how difficult the caregiving job may be, there is no more rewarding work in existence. Hardest Most Rewarding Job is Caregivins
By Sandra Speer
Ms. Speer is living her passion of using her education (BA, MAOM, Ph.D., abd), life, published articles, and 30+ years of work experience toward eliminating institutionalized elder/disabled individual abuse by writing for and speaking to organizations and individuals throughout the world. With each story or speaking engagement, her goal is to become closer to helping all understand the process of aging and that “Institutionalized Abuse” does not have to be a part of an aging or disabled individual’s life. Her heartfelt message is for all ages because learning to respect and protect our elders is key to teaching that abuse of human beings never leads to lasting success.

Hardest Most Rewarding Job is Caregiving

Hardest Most Rewarding Job is Caregiving

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Bed Sore Care
Caregiving

Resolving Common Conflicts Around Senior Care

by Richard Bitner
written by Richard Bitner

At Visiting Angels, we know that senior care can be a contentious and sensitive issue. While it can be easy for some families to agree on when care is needed and how care will be provided, in many other cases it can be a cause for conflict. Perhaps you don’t believe that you require care, while your son or daughter insists that you do. Or maybe you and your children agree that care is needed, but you can’t come to an agreement on the right caregiver. Finding ways to resolve these conflicts around senior care is often a necessary part of the senior care planning process. Resolving Common Conflicts Around Senior Care

Common Senior Care Conflicts

There are a number of conflicts that seniors and their families commonly have around senior care. Finding ways to address and overcome these conflicts is an essential part of getting seniors the care they need. Some of the most common conflicts around senior care include:

  • Is Senior Care Needed? One of the most common senior care conflicts is whether or not care is needed in the first place. Many seniors take pride in their independence and want to live self-sufficiently for as long as possible — even if they’ve started to have small difficulties with day-to-day tasks. This can create arguments between seniors and younger family members about whether or not care might be necessary.
  • What Level of Care Is Needed? In some cases, everyone agrees that care is needed, but there is disagreement about what level of care is best. For instance, a senior might believe they only need help once or twice a week with small errands. Meanwhile, their child might feel that someone should be with the senior more often to reduce safety risks and concerns.
  • Who Provides Senior Care? If you’ve decided that senior care is the right choice, you will need to decide who provides that care. If care is being provided by family members, this could lead to conflict over who is providing care when or which family members bear the biggest care burdens. In other cases, there may be a disagreement about whether or not professional care is right for an elderly family member.
  • Who Pays for Professional Care? If you and your family decide to pursue professional home care, you will need to have a discussion about how care will be funded and where those funds are coming from. In some cases, the senior receiving care may be able to pay for their own care. In other cases, private insurance or Medicare may cover all or a portion of the care. In many instances, younger family members cover or split the cost of their parents’ or grandparents’ care, a common area for tension and arguments.

This is not an exhaustive list, and there are many other common types of conflict that come up around senior care. But whatever the disagreement, it’s important to address the conflict in a way that is respectful and constructive.

Resolving Senior Care Conflicts

To resolve a conflict around senior care, seniors and their families can follow these guidelines:

  1. Make sure that everyone — especially the senior at the center of the care discussion — has the chance to state their feelings about the issue.
  2. Engage in respectful conversation, allowing family members to state and discuss their opinions and emotions without lashing out or becoming accusatory.
  3. Suggest and explore compromises. For instance, if a family member is convinced care is needed but the senior is resistant, a trial run might be a good way to see if care is helpful.
  4. Unless the senior in question is unable to make decisions on their own, they should always be given final say in how they will be cared for.

If you’re thinking about senior care, you may wish to consider in-home care from Visiting Angels. Contact your local senior care office today to schedule a no-cost care assessment.

Resolving Common Conflicts Around Senior Care

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Making a Smooth Transition from One Caregiver to Another
Caregiving

Making a Smooth Transition from One Caregiver to Another

by Richard Bitner
written by Richard Bitner

Tips for Continuity of Care

Finding the right fit between a senior and his or her caregiver is the biggest part of any successful care relationship. So, when a senior has been receiving care from the same caregiver for years and finds out that caregiver is about to retire, switch jobs, or move to a different location, the news is a big deal. Seniors and their families often fret during this time, worried they will never find another care provider who can measure up to their care standards. Making a Smooth Transition from One Caregiver to Another
At Visiting Angels, we know how hard the transition from one caregiver to another can be for some seniors. In nearly two decades of caregiving, we’ve helped many families with continuity of care. Below, we’ve outlined some of our best advice for when you’re switching care providers. Making a Smooth Transition from One Caregiver to Another

Take Action as Early as Possible

Seniors have little control over when they are notified that a caregiver change is upcoming. But once you are notified, it’s in your hands to start planning for the change as early as you can. Making a Smooth Transition from One Caregiver to Another
If you receive care through a care agency like Visiting Angels, you will want to reach out to an agency director as soon as possible to start discussing your options. In most cases, a care director will have previous experience in transferring a client’s care from one caregiver to another. Making a Smooth Transition from One Caregiver to Another
While procedures can vary from one agency to another, the director of your local agency will generally be your best resource during this time. They will know which caregivers at their agency are available for your care schedule, which have the skills and personality to meet your needs, and what steps you can take to ensure a successful switch.

Communication Leads to Quality Care

One of the best ways to ensure a seamless transition from an old caregiver to a new one is through communication. Care is always personal, tied to the needs and preferences of the care recipient. Even a highly experienced caregiver will take time to get to know a new client. If possible, ask if you can have a new caregiver shadow your old caregiver for a time.
Shadowing is not a standard practice at all senior care agencies, so you may be asked to pay an hourly rate for both caregivers to make shadowing possible. That said, if you have the resources at your disposal, the improved quality of care will make it a worthwhile investment. Making a Smooth Transition from One Caregiver to Another

Get Involved with Caregiver Selection

When a new caregiver is being appointed for your care or the care of your loved one, you should play an active role as much as possible in selecting your caregiver. Making a Smooth Transition from One Caregiver to Another
The amount of say you’ll have in the caregiver will vary from agency to agency, but a quality agency will always keep seniors involved in choosing a care provider. Whether that’s by having clients meet potential caregivers before starting care or giving clients final say in who their permanent caregiver will be, a good agency will work with you to make sure that your replacement caregiver is a good fit.
At Visiting Angels, our approach is to let you Select Your Caregiver®. We do this whether we’re setting up care for a first-time client or helping a longtime client find a new care provider after their previous caregiver has moved or retired.
If you’re looking for a caregiver in your area, contact your local Visiting Angels office today and get started with a free, no-obligation care consultation. Making a Smooth Transition from One Caregiver to Another

Making a Smooth Transition from One Caregiver to Another

Making a Smooth Transition from One Caregiver to Another Making a Smooth Transition from One Caregiver to Another Making a Smooth Transition from One Caregiver to Another Making a Smooth Transition from One Caregiver to Another Making a Smooth Transition from One Caregiver to Another

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10 Dementia Warning Signs to Look for this Holiday Season
Caregiving

Taking Care of Elderly Parents

by Richard Bitner
written by Richard Bitner

There comes a time in many people’s lives in which they need to start taking care of elderly parents. For some people, that means setting up services that will come to their parent’s home. For others, it means making changes to the schedule to be available to care for them. If you’re faced with this situation right now, consider these tips to make the situation much easier to handle. Taking Care of Elderly Parents

Tips for Taking Care of Elderly Parents

#1: Learn About Your Parent’s Needs

Before you’re able to care for your parent, you’ll need to know his/her needs. Ask medical professionals he/she has seen recently for recommendations, and always discuss your parent’s needs and wants with him/her. Your parent should always be involved in the decision making process.

#2: Assess Your Situation

You may have a spouse and children, which could make tending to the needs of your parent difficult. Consider the time you spend with your family and how much you have available to take care of your mother or father. Being realistic will prevent you from becoming overwhelmed.

#3: Decide What You Can Do

Once you know how much time you have to devote to your parent, you can decide on the needs you can fulfill. This may be transporting your parent to medical appointments, helping with groceries, etc.

#4: Find Services for Other Needs

For the needs you can’t fulfill, search for services in your community that can help. Usually, social services, senior centers, and other organizations specializing in senior care will have services available for support.

#5: Listen and Help

Many senior citizens start to feel lonely because their loved ones don’t pay much attention to them, and then when they do speak, they don’t genuinely listen to their needs and wants. Take some time each week (at least) to sit down and ask how he/she is and if there is anything else that’s needed. It may take a few minutes out of your day, but this is one of the needs that senior citizens benefit from and thrive on during this stage of life.
If you’re unable to provide that time to listen to your parent because of other responsibilities, consider using the services of a personal consultant. Kendall Van Blarcom works with the elderly population to help fulfill the need of a human connection in which seniors can express themselves to someone who is actively listening.

Support for Caregivers

As you’re taking care of elderly parents, know that you have needs that must be fulfilled as well. You need to feel as though you’re understood. You have many feelings and thoughts running through you right now, and some of them, you may not even understand yourself. When you consult with someone like Kendall, you get that relief you’re so desperately looking for from other people.
Taking Care of Elderly Parents Taking Care of Elderly Parents Taking Care of Elderly Parents Taking Care of Elderly Parents Taking Care of Elderly Parents Taking Care of Elderly Parents

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Understanding the Difficult Emotions Behind Caregiving And Aging
Caregiving

Understanding the Difficult Emotions Behind Caregiving and Aging

by Kathy Macaraeg
written by Kathy Macaraeg

There is No Shame in Negative Emotions Tied to Caregiving – It’s How You Respond to Them that Matters

Aging and caregiving have so many emotions tied to them, unfortunately, some aren’t as positive as we’d like. Rather than feel embarrassed about your emotions, or trying to ignore or hide the emotions, it is better for your well-being to understand them and accept them. Understanding the Difficult Emotions Behind Caregiving And Aging
When we ignore our emotions, they just get bigger. You can’t run from your feelings so it is important to explore your feelings and find ways to accept them or cope with the negative emotions.

Sadness:

Both the caregiver and caree can experience sadness during the caregiving journey. The caree may mourn the body or mind that they used to have. It can be difficult to accept that you can’t do all of the things you used to do. It can also be hard to have to rely on your child, or other family members. Understanding the Difficult Emotions Behind Caregiving And Aging
The caregiver can also feel sadness about the person their parent or spouse has become. It is difficult to see a loved one struggle. There is also sadness about the new role of caregiver. Becoming someone’s caregiver is very rewarding, but it is also a huge sacrifice. Free time will become a luxury and the financial and emotional toll is high.

Resentment:

A caree may resent their caregiver for a number of reasons. They can resent that their child or spouse is telling them what to do or handling tasks that they previously handled. They can resent the situation. No one wants to become dependent on someone else. They can also resent that it changes their role in the relationship and how it makes them feel.
A caregiver can also experience resentment that they no longer have the freedom to go away or check out. They may resent that there is so much on their plate and they are under a lot of stress. They can also resent the financial toll or the impact caregiving has on their career or social responsibilities. A caregiver can also resent the toll on their social life, particularly if they have had to make major life changes. Understanding the Difficult Emotions Behind Caregiving And Aging

Anger:

If someone is experiencing sadness and resentment, it may turn to anger, particularly if it is a long-term lifestyle change. Anger is a common expression of grief, which both caregivers and carees go through as life as they know it is altered.
The caree can become angry over their current situation and take out their anger on the closest target – their caregiver. The caregiver may be angry over their new situation or the toll caregiving takes on their life.

How to Cope with Caregiver Emotions:

While it isn’t easy to move past sadness, resentment and anger, if you are in a long-term caregiving relationship for someone you love, it is critical to your relationship that you do. Once you understand why the person is lashing out or handling the transition badly, it can be easier to not take things so personally.
Instead of focusing on the negative aspects of your situation, work together to accept it and create a new normal. For example, if your mother is grieving over the fact that she can no longer prepare her favorite meals and her way of expressing it is to criticize your cooking, have her guide your cooking. Sit together and go over her recipes, or bring her into the kitchen to walk you through her preparations. Yes, it can take more time and we don’t always have a lot of time, but she’ll feel like she has more to contribute and more value.
Try to bring some joy and play into your new situation. Your caree may be focused on all of the negative aspects of his or her health and you may be bogged down in running two families, which can feel depressing. Bringing some fun and humor into your situation will help you both feel better.
Give each other space. You and your parent probably have not spent this much time together in a long time. Your parent has been living alone for some time and you have set up your own life. Blending the lives of independent adults is difficult. Give each other some space. Read a book in your room or set up a TV in your parent’s room. You don’t need to be together every minute of every day.
Respect your parent’s routine. If you have become a morning person but your dad likes to stay up late watching movies and wake up around 11 a.m., don’t go bursting into his room at 8 a.m. encouraging him to join you for breakfast. Obviously, you are not a diner serving up meal at all hours of the day, but prepare something that can keep and leave it for him to enjoy when he is ready. If medication is an issue, discuss his schedule with his doctor to be sure pushing back the day to accommodate his schedule is safe.
Understanding where you are each coming from and respecting each other’s needs can make your caregiving journey run smoothly.

Understanding the Difficult Emotions Behind Caregiving And Aging

Understanding the Difficult Emotions Behind Caregiving And Aging Understanding the Difficult Emotions Behind Caregiving And Aging Understanding the Difficult Emotions Behind Caregiving And Aging Understanding the Difficult Emotions Behind Caregiving And Aging Understanding the Difficult Emotions Behind Caregiving And Aging
 
 

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10 Dementia Warning Signs to Look for this Holiday Season
Caregiving

Caregiving Shortcuts to Make Life Easier

by Kathy Macaraeg
written by Kathy Macaraeg

Caregiving Shortcuts to Make Life EasierCaregivers lead busy lives. Many are part of the sandwich generation, meaning they are providing care for both their own children and an elderly relative and 60% of caregivers are employed full-time. Caregiving Shortcuts to Make Life Easier
Keeping up with caregiving responsibilities and the tasks can be overwhelming. How does one person manage the cooking, cleaning, laundry and care for two households, while providing care well? The answer is, one person doesn’t. It takes a village. Caregiving Shortcuts to Make Life Easier

1. Meals Caregiving Shortcuts to Make Life Easier

Preparing meals for two households can be a challenge. I find that cooking a big batch of dinners over the weekend helps cut down on the chaos of getting dinner on the table after a long day of work. I spend about 2-3 hours making a few simple meals that can be reheated throughout the week. I typically prepare a pasta dish that will last 2-3 meals and some sort of chicken casserole dish that is loaded with vegetables. We supplement the meals with salad or vegetable sides. It isn’t exciting to eat the same meals throughout the week, but it is efficient and so far, there have been no complaints.
If you are making meals for your family and also need to ensure that your parent(s) are fed in their home, you can always package up some of your meals for them to reheat throughout the week, or try a home delivery service. Meals on Wheels http://www.mealsonwheelsamerica.org/ delivers to senior homes. They deliver around lunchtime, but most of my customers saved the meal for dinner, since they preferred to eat their more substantial meal in the evening. If they aren’t interested in the food from Meals on Wheels, there are a number of food delivery services available now that they may prefer. While some provide the ingredients and leave the cooking to you, there are some services geared specifically towards seniors that come fully cooked.
Meal delivery services (outside of Meals on Wheels) can be pricey, so if you can’t afford to have meals delivered to your parents, perhaps you can pay someone to prepare food for them. This is where you get creative. Do you have a friend whose son or daughter is interested in cooking? Does a neighbor have a cleaning person who prepares meals for their family? Is there someone from church who loves to cook but has an empty nest? Think about your “village” and who can possibly fill this gap. Caregiving Shortcuts to Make Life Easier

2. Grocery shopping

A few weeks ago, I ran into a good friend who is a working mom with twins. We were talking about how hard it is to get everything done on weekends and still squeeze in fun with our families. She shared a tip with me that has literally been life changing. She has been ordering groceries through Amazon Prime Now and they are delivered from her local grocery store in two hours, with no service charge, outside of a tip.
Two weeks ago, we had a super busy weekend and were out all day Saturday and would be out all day Sunday. My husband was leaving town for the week on Tuesday and I had stitches in my neck, so I was unable to grocery shop. I decided to give Amazon Prime Now a try. While I was still in bed at 7:30 a.m. on Sunday, I took out my phone and ordered all of our produce, dairy, protein and necessities for the week. Our groceries arrived at 10 a.m., much to my husband’s surprise. He was planning to shop after the kids were in bed at 8:30 p.m. It only cost us an extra $9 for the tip, but was well worth that nominal fee. Life changing.
I also knew of many adult children who didn’t live near their parents set up grocery delivery through Vons.com and Yummy.com. Once you try online ordering, you may never go back to the grocery store!
Of course, if your mom or dad prefers to go to the grocery store and select his or her own apples, bananas and broccoli, you can always outsource the transportation. Many cities offer a City Ride shuttle transportation service that is very low cost and ideal for grocery trips. If your city doesn’t offer a suitable resource, you can consider asking a retired neighbor or stay at home mom if they would be able to take your parent along when they go grocery shopping. I know many of my customers looked forward to grocery shopping because they got out of the house and had built-in socializing.

3. Laundry Caregiving Shortcuts to Make Life Easier

I’m sorry. There aren’t many laundry shortcuts, outside of outsourcing. Trust me, if there was a shortcut, I would be implementing it. It amazes me how much laundry a family of four can produce!
While there aren’t many shortcuts, one thing I have found is I prefer doing laundry at my condominium complex than at my parent’s home. Why? At my complex, we can do four loads at one time – a huge timesaver!
If you don’t live in a multi-unit building with several machines, you can always pack up your laundry and take it to a laundromat. I used to do this when I lived in an apartment that never had available units and it was a huge timesaver. You can wash as many loads as you need to in less than two hours. This could double as your “me” time, since while the laundry is in a machine, you have nothing to do but sit and wait. Take a book, take your bills or listen to your favorite music.
If your parents don’t have a lot of laundry, or you don’t want to sit at a laundromat, you can outsource to a fluff and fold service. Many dry cleaners offer fluff and fold, priced by weight, so you may want to do the sheets and towels at home and outsource the clothing.

4. Bill paying and mail pile up

If you haven’t already set up online bill pay, drop everything and do it now. Even if you have bills that fluctuate, you can set up the payee and when the bill comes, put in the amount due and set up the payment date. You can set this up on your bank’s website and it takes very little time to set up and costs nothing.
You can set up bill pay for your bills and your parents’ bills, reducing the amount of paper you need to touch every month. I don’t know about you, but we get mountains of paper and if we don’t stay on top of it, we feel like we’re drowning.
On the paper mountain note, you can set up your bills for electronic billing and opt out of junk mail to reduce the amount of paper coming into your home. Here are some resources I came across that can help reduce the paper clutter: Federal Trade Commission Consumer Information https://www.consumer.ftc.gov/articles/0262-stopping-unsolicited-mail-phone-calls-and-email, National Do Not Mail List http://www.directmail.com/mail_preference/ and Catalog Choice https://www.catalogchoice.org/. I admit, I have not embarked on this task yet, but it is on my to do list.
These little tweaks to your life can give you back a lot of extra time. Take that time to practice a little bit of self-care or spend quality time with a loved one. Caregiving Shortcuts to Make Life Easier
 
 

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Keeping Caregivers Healthy
Caregiving

Balancing Caregiving Responsibilities and Work

by Kathy Macaraeg
written by Kathy Macaraeg

How to Juggle Caregiver Tasks When You Work Outside the Home

According to the National Caregiver Alliance and AARP, 60% of the approximately 43.5 million caregivers in the U.S. are employed, and most of them work outside the home full time. Balancing Caregiving Responsibilities and Work
Between work, caregiving tasks and maintaining their own household, it’s no wonder the majority of caregivers report that they experience physical and emotional stress. Between work and caregiving, they are putting in at least 60 hours a week!

Shortcuts to Balance the Caregiver/Employee Roles

If you’re not able to cut back work or caregiving hours, how can you balance the two? Shortcuts, hacks and letting things go is a good start. Here are my best timesavers and hacks that I’ve used during extremely stressful and busy times.

1. Eat as well as I can:

I’d love to say, hey, get your 5 servings of vegetables and fruits in every day, but let’s face it, when you’re busy, the easiest food to eat is usually junk food or processed food. When I’m super busy, I try to make sure we’re stocked with portable healthy snacks such as granola bars, string cheese, yogurt, bananas, tangerines and apples. Aside from the yogurt and cheese, I can throw them in my bag or leave them in my car. Balancing Caregiving Responsibilities and Work

2. Cook in bulk:

It isn’t the most exciting way to eat, but I usually cook two or three large meals at the beginning of the week and we re-heat throughout the week.

3. Sunday or Monday plan:

I once read an article about a woman who keeps her Mondays appointment free so that she could prepare herself for a successful week. Monday doesn’t work for most people who have a full-time job, but for me, Sunday evening is a great time to plan for the week. Balancing Caregiving Responsibilities and Work
I personally prefer a paper calendar for planning, although I keep an electronic calendar so that I have it on my phone as well. For planning, I look at both and go through the days of the week and make sure we are covered for any appointments and activities. I bought a dry erase decal for my refrigerator that I use for any appointments that affect more than one person so my husband and I are on the same page.
If you are scheduling yourself and your parent, you may want to color code your schedule. One thing that tripped up a lot of my clients and their children was backing up times to allow for transportation. There were many times where they would accidentally leave for an appointment at the time they were supposed to arrive. One of my clients who was an executive assistant in her career had a great idea of putting her pick up time in pen and underneath, she would write the appointment time in pencil. I am hooked on these Bic four color pens since I can easily color-code without having to have multiple pens. They last forever. I have been using the same one for 2 years now. Balancing Caregiving Responsibilities and Work

4. Schedule maintenance:

If you are so busy that you are barely getting through the day, making sure the little things continue to run is important, but challenging. Go ahead and put your car maintenance on your calendar ahead of time so that you don’t forget. The last thing you need is an expensive car repair. Are there other things you need to maintain? Think about what needs to be done to keep your life running smoothly and put it on your calendar before you forget – both for your home and your parent. Balancing Caregiving Responsibilities and Work

5. Maximize your work day:

If you have to be in an office for eight hours a day, use your lunch or breaks to get some tasks done. During your planning time, list out any appointments you need to make (with phone numbers and any background info), shop for groceries online and do any other task that you don’t need to do in person. If you have your list and all the details ready to go, you can blaze through your list. Balancing Caregiving Responsibilities and Work
If you don’t sit at a desk or don’t work at a computer, you can still take your lunch break to make any calls, set up appointments, etc. You can also shop on Amazon Prime Now from your cell phone.

6. Find off-hour service providers:

While most doctors only operate from 9 a.m. – 5 p.m., there are some dentists and even medical imaging centers that are open late or on weekends. I once had an MRI at 9 a.m. on a Saturday. Try to find providers that operate when you have more time for you and your parent so that you don’t need to use all of your time off for routine care.

7. Get creative:

I worked with a family who had a creative strategy for medical appointments. They hired us to transport the father to and from his appointment, but the daughter met him there, attended the appointment and went back to work. She only needed to take one hour off of work, versus 3 hours if she was providing transportation.
Can you find ways to be present without doing everything? Can you schedule appointments early in the morning so that you only miss an hour of work. Is there someone you can split the load with? Do you have a friend, neighbor or community member who has more free time and can assist with some of the manageable tasks like grocery shopping or errands? Is there someone you can hire to help with the errands? I haven’t tried it yet, but I’ve heard of sites like Task Rabbit, where you can hire someone to do errands for you. Balancing Caregiving Responsibilities and Work
You can’t do it all, so finding shortcuts or getting help can help take some of the stress off your plate. How can you find a few extra hours? Balancing Caregiving Responsibilities and Work
 

Balancing Caregiving Responsibilities and Work

 
 

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