At Visiting Angels, we know that senior care can be a contentious and sensitive issue. While it can be easy for some families to agree on when care is needed and how care will be provided, in many other cases it can be a cause for conflict. Perhaps you don’t believe that you require care, while your son or daughter insists that you do. Or maybe you and your children agree that care is needed, but you can’t come to an agreement on the right caregiver. Finding ways to resolve these conflicts around senior care is often a necessary part of the senior care planning process. Resolving Common Conflicts Around Senior Care
Common Senior Care Conflicts
There are a number of conflicts that seniors and their families commonly have around senior care. Finding ways to address and overcome these conflicts is an essential part of getting seniors the care they need. Some of the most common conflicts around senior care include:
- Is Senior Care Needed? One of the most common senior care conflicts is whether or not care is needed in the first place. Many seniors take pride in their independence and want to live self-sufficiently for as long as possible — even if they’ve started to have small difficulties with day-to-day tasks. This can create arguments between seniors and younger family members about whether or not care might be necessary.
- What Level of Care Is Needed? In some cases, everyone agrees that care is needed, but there is disagreement about what level of care is best. For instance, a senior might believe they only need help once or twice a week with small errands. Meanwhile, their child might feel that someone should be with the senior more often to reduce safety risks and concerns.
- Who Provides Senior Care? If you’ve decided that senior care is the right choice, you will need to decide who provides that care. If care is being provided by family members, this could lead to conflict over who is providing care when or which family members bear the biggest care burdens. In other cases, there may be a disagreement about whether or not professional care is right for an elderly family member.
- Who Pays for Professional Care? If you and your family decide to pursue professional home care, you will need to have a discussion about how care will be funded and where those funds are coming from. In some cases, the senior receiving care may be able to pay for their own care. In other cases, private insurance or Medicare may cover all or a portion of the care. In many instances, younger family members cover or split the cost of their parents’ or grandparents’ care, a common area for tension and arguments.
This is not an exhaustive list, and there are many other common types of conflict that come up around senior care. But whatever the disagreement, it’s important to address the conflict in a way that is respectful and constructive.
Resolving Senior Care Conflicts
To resolve a conflict around senior care, seniors and their families can follow these guidelines:
- Make sure that everyone — especially the senior at the center of the care discussion — has the chance to state their feelings about the issue.
- Engage in respectful conversation, allowing family members to state and discuss their opinions and emotions without lashing out or becoming accusatory.
- Suggest and explore compromises. For instance, if a family member is convinced care is needed but the senior is resistant, a trial run might be a good way to see if care is helpful.
- Unless the senior in question is unable to make decisions on their own, they should always be given final say in how they will be cared for.
If you’re thinking about senior care, you may wish to consider in-home care from Visiting Angels. Contact your local senior care office today to schedule a no-cost care assessment.
