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Signs Your Aging Parent Needs Caregiving Support
Caregiving

Signs Your Aging Parent Needs Caregiving Support

by Kathy Macaraeg
written by Kathy Macaraeg

Is Your Aging Parent Struggling?

 
Whether you live near your aging parents or live across the country, it can be hard to see changes in their health or well-being. Sometimes, health and cognitive changes are gradual, making it hard to notice. Or, in many cases, we just see our parents as our parents and don’t notice a decline until something major happens. Signs Your Aging Parent Needs Caregiving Support
It can be especially hard for local family members to see gradual changes. Similar to noticing gradual weight loss in someone you see regularly, you may not catch that your parent has lost interest in activities or that they seem to more and more forgetful. Sometimes, it takes an extended visit from a long-distance family member to catch these changes.
I worked with many families who had both long-distance and local siblings. It was always interesting to see how much more the long-distance siblings noticed, since they had more time between visits so changes to health and wellbeing seemed more drastic, rather than gradual. Many times, I noticed issues that local family members didn’t see since they weren’t looking for signs of illness or decline.
I had a client who had two daughters who were not on the same page about his well-being. The local sister saw nothing wrong with her father’s balance and gait because he had been walking like that for some time. The sister who visits a few times a year from Spain was shocked by how much her father had declined and insisted on a life alert system and that his driving service walk him to his apartment, rather than leave him in the garage, which was his preference. My staff and I knew that he struggled and had brought it up to the local daughter but she dismissed us, until her sister expressed the same concern.

Signs Your Aging Parent is Struggling

Here are some changes you should keep an eye out for, whether you live nearby or across the country.

  1. Depression: While depression can be common in older adults, there are ways to combat depression. If you notice slight changes such as a loss of interest in activities they previously enjoyed or feelings of guilt, consider addressing these concerns with your parent or their physician.
  1. Increase in Falls: Is your aging parent falling more frequently? If you’ve already addressed fall risks in the home, it could be due to a medical condition or their medication. Speak with their doctor and consider fall prevention aides.
  1. Loneliness: Has your parent recently lost a close friend, moved away from their neighborhood or stopped driving? They could be lonely, which can lead to physical and emotional health problems.
  1. Unsafe Driving: Are you noticing new dings or dents on your parents’ car? Are they anxious about getting behind the wheel? Do they have limited mobility or hearing loss? These could be signs that they need to turn over the keys. Help them understand the dangers of unsafe driving and find solutions to keep them independent and active.
  1. Elder Abuse: Is there someone who is getting abnormally close to your loved one or who is trying to keep family members away from your parent? They may be committing elder abuse. Trust your gut and get informed. Elder abuse isn’t just physical abuse.
  1. Malnutrition: Did you know that many seniors suffer from malnutrition? Help your parents remain proper nutrition by stocking them up with easy healthy snacks and ensuring healthy meals are accessible to them.
  1. Alzheimer’s Disease: Are you noticing your parent isn’t just forgetting little details, but significant facts such as how to get home from the grocery store or trouble following simple directions? There is a difference between general cognitive decline and dementia. Don’t ignore the signs. Signs Your Aging Parent Needs Caregiving Support

Don’t dismiss changes to health and well-being. With some tweaks or discussions with a doctor, they can probably be rectified, but if you let something like malnutrition or financial fraud go on for too long, it can have a catastrophic effect.

Signs Your Aging Parent Needs Caregiving Support

Signs Your Aging Parent Needs Caregiving Support
Signs Your Aging Parent Needs Caregiving Support Signs Your Aging Parent Needs Caregiving Support Signs Your Aging Parent Needs Caregiving Support Signs Your Aging Parent Needs Caregiving Support

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Setting up Care for Aging Parents while on Vacation
Caregiving

Setting up Care for Aging Parents while on Vacation

by Kimberly Johnson
written by Kimberly Johnson
CONGRATULATIONS! In honor of your upcoming wedding anniversary, your spouse just surprised you with a romantic week-long trip. You know you are supposed to be thrilled but, there is no way that you can go. You are the primary caretaker for your aging parents, and a vacation is impossible. Setting up Care for Aging Parents while on Vacation
Who will take care of Mom? Setting up Care for Aging Parents while on Vacation
Who will look in on her in the afternoons?
How will she get to the doctor? Setting up Care for Aging Parents while on Vacation
Who will set up her medications? Setting up Care for Aging Parents while on Vacation
And… what happens if there is a real emergency? Setting up Care for Aging Parents while on Vacation
These are the exact reasons that you NEED a vacation. Being the primary caretaker for aging parents is challenging and demanding, and it takes its toll on you. You need this for your heart and mind. Setting up Care for Aging Parents while on Vacation
Before you start packing for your romantic getaway here are some options to keeping your aging parents safe and well, while you are relaxing by the beach!

Home Care

The preferred option for your aging parents is to remain in the same environment. Remaining at home creates the least disruption, especially for seniors dealing with memory loss or if they require specialized medical equipment.
Ask a relative or a sibling can assume the primary caretaker duties and stay over at your parent’s house while you are away. If this is not an option, ask the daytime caregiver if they can work extra hours. A home health care registry can provide personalized service from regular calls throughout the day, to night shifts or if your aging parents requires it, complete 24-hour care. Setting up Care for Aging Parents while on Vacation

Residential Care Facilities

Although not ideal, if it is impossible for your aging parent to remain in their accustomed routine at home, rest assured they will be well taken care of at a residential facility. ARCH National Respite and Resource Center, provides a wealth of information and a national locator tool that can help caregivers find respite services in their community.

Assisted Living Residence

This is ideal for independent seniors that require less help. The expectation is that your parents are mentally alert and can dress and feed themselves. Your parents can live in their own apartment while sharing communal living and dining areas.

Nursing Home

These facilities are intended for seniors with greater personal and medical requirements. Care is available day or night and constant nursing can be provided if it is deemed necessary.

Stress Busters

In order to go on vacation safe with the knowledge that your parents will be comfortable and safe until your return, start planning early. Depending on their mental capacity try and involve your parents in the decisions related to their care.

Finances

  • Understand the finances.
  • Add the costs of elder care into your vacation costs.
  • Research veterans benefits, Medicaid, foundation grants, and state funding.

Paperwork

No matter where your parents will be staying, organize a folder containing important paperwork.

  • List of primary and secondary emergency contacts
  • List of family contacts
  • List of physicians- with phone numbers and addresses
  • List of preferred hospital and pharmacy
  • List of all medications and which doctor prescribed them
  • Important documents: power of attorney, living will, advance directives, DNR orders
  • insurance cards

Enjoy Your Vacation

Relax! You are ready to enjoy a stress-free vacation. You have made arrangements for your aging parents and you have seen to the last detail. Now, is your time to take a break from the stress of being the primary caretaker.
Focus on the milestone of your wedding anniversary and enjoy the romantic getaway. BON VOYAGE!

Y.Feinerman is the digital marketing manager for Family First Home Health Care. Yocheved is passionate about family and is known to be the “go to person” for family life cycle events and FUN!
Family First Home Health Care is a consumer directed private care registry, with the purpose of putting our client in control. We are comitted to referring those caregivers who can provide high quality, innovative care and who strive for excellence. Caregier screening and referral care our business. Each of the caregivers on our registry unergo a rigorous background screening and a credetial verification. Click Here and F1HH will be in touch with you within 24 hours.

Setting up Care for Aging Parents while on Vacation

Setting up Care for Aging Parents while on Vacation Setting up Care for Aging Parents while on Vacation Setting up Care for Aging Parents while on Vacation

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What Services Are Covered by Personal Care?
Caregiving

What Services Are Covered by Personal Care?

by Richard Bitner
written by Richard Bitner

When hiring in-home care services for a spouse or family member, you’ll be faced with a number of options. Home care services cover a range of specialty services, along with more traditional forms of care, which include in-home companion care and personal care. What Services Are Covered by Personal Care?
Many families are unsure at first which type of care their loved one may need, particularly when choosing between companion careand personal care. Companion care services are for seniors who live by themselves and could benefit from conversation and a helping hand with housekeeping tasks. If seniors require hands-on assistance with personal activities, then they will need personal care.
If you’re uncertain about which type of care your loved one needs, it may help to know which services can be provided by personal care professional, but not by a companion caregiver. To assist you in selecting the right type of care for your spouse or family member, here is a short guide to the services that come with personal care.

Personal Care Services

Personal care is recommended for seniors with limited strength, poor mobility, physical disability, or chronic health conditions that limit their ability to perform activities of daily living. These are personal activities, like dressing and bathing, which require physical contact between the care recipient and the caregiver.
Given the sensitive nature of these activities and the risk of injury in the event of an accident, personal care should only be performed by highly trained caregivers. In most states, licensing requirements for personal caregivers are much more rigorous than the requirements for companion caregivers. While a personal care professional will be able to perform companion care tasks, it is unsafe and sometimes unlawful for a companion caregiver to perform personal care activities.
Once you’re familiar with the activities that personal care professionals are trained to perform, it’s easier to decide between companion care and personal care. If your loved one requires help in any of the following areas, personal care will likely be necessary.

  • Chronic pain, limited strength, and poor coordination make dressing difficult for many seniors. Whether your loved one needs help with their whole wardrobe or just a few items, a personal care professional can help them prepare for the day.
  • Many seniors find grooming difficult for the same reason they have trouble getting dressed. Moreover, grooming tools can injure seniors if improperly used. Personal caregivers can assist with hair care, nail care, shaving, and other grooming tasks.
  • Oral Hygiene.Healthy teeth and healthy gums play a crucial role in seniors’ well-being. An experienced personal caregiver can help your loved one follow their dentist-recommended oral hygiene program.
  • A slip in the shower or bathtub can result in a life-threatening injury. While grab bars, shower stools, and non-slip coatings reduce the risk of slipping, many seniors still require the assistance of a professional caregiver when bathing.
  • After showers and bathtubs, toilets are the leading cause of injury to seniors. Personal care providers are trained to help seniors use the bathroom safely, offering compassionate and dignified assistance.
  • If your loved one has mobility difficulties, personal care can make life easier both in and out of the home. Personal caregivers can help seniors get from place to place safely and reduce the risk of a mobility-related injury.
  • Individuals who are unable to transfer themselves from one position to another can benefit from personal care services, which can include transfer assistance performed by one or more caregivers.

Do you have a loved one who could benefit from personal care services? If so, we invite you to contact Visiting Angels®. Our team will provide detailed information about our services and can schedule a free consultation with one of our care directors.
Call 800-365-4189 today or contact your local Visiting Angels office directlyto request a free personal care consultation from Visiting Angels.

What Services Are Covered by Personal Care?

What Services Are Covered by Personal Care? What Services Are Covered by Personal Care? What Services Are Covered by Personal Care? What Services Are Covered by Personal Care? What Services Are Covered by Personal Care? What Services Are Covered by Personal Care?

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What the Home Caregiver Shortage Means for Seniors and Disabled
Caregiving

What the Home Caregiver Shortage Means for Seniors and Disabled

by Kimberly Johnson
written by Kimberly Johnson

As the population of Americans over the age of 85 grows dramatically, so too has the need for home caregivers. By the year 2026, demand for home caregivers will grow by another million. This is an alarming prediction, because there is already a serious shortage, which is making it very difficult for seniors and people with disabilities to find the assistance they need. Many overall healthy people have resorted to living in nursing homes and other institutions simply so that they can receive basic help with daily tasks. What the Home Caregiver Shortage Means for Seniors and Disabled

Causes of the Home Caregiver Shortage

Although it is a quickly growing profession, there are still not nearly enough people interested in working as caregivers in order to keep up with the demand. Caretaking jobs tend not to pay very well; currently, the average home caregiver is paid only $10.99/hour. This is similar to what employees in retail or food service earn. Additionally, caregivers often have inconsistent schedules, part-time work only, poor benefits, and few opportunities for advancement (1).
Moreover, the job comes with a lot of responsibility, and mistakes can result in serious injury, police investigations, and other issues.
Strict immigration policies may also affect the caregiver shortage, as roughly one quarter of caretakers are immigrants.
With all of these factors combined, it is not exactly shocking that home care agencies experience an annual turnover rate of 60% (1).

Impact of Caregiver Shortage on Individuals and Families

The Columbus Dispatch recently interviewed a woman named Kenna Robinett, who is the guardian for her twin nephews, who are both on the autism spectrum. She was able to find home caregivers for her nephews, but they were far from reliable. The caregivers served her nephews frozen hot pockets (unheated), microwaved bread sticks until they were burnt to a crisp, and stored ice cream in a cabinet drawer. On one occasion, the boys’ school called because one of them had arrived with feces on his hands. Another day, Robinett received a message saying that there would be no one available to care for her nephews as of 3p.m. that same day, because the agency was shutting down.
In addition to causing the inconvenience of rapidly finding a replacement, caregiver turnover can be emotionally traumatic. “This is deeply personal, intimate care,” Patty Lyons told The Columbus Dispatch, discussing her 15-year-old daughter, who has several disabilities and health conditions. “She has a G-tube (which delivers food to the stomach), takes 13 different medications. Essentially, she’s nonverbal. She has to be left alone with a provider while I’m at work.”
Lyons’ daughter, Adriana, previously had a private-duty nurse. Then Medicaid policies changed and she was declared ineligible for nursing services, under the assumption that a less expensive care provider could meet her requirements. However, it took Lyons months to find someone who could appropriately care for Adriana(2).

Caregiver Shortage Causes Unnecessary Institutionalization

Although staying in an assisted living center or nursing home is a viable option for some, seniors increasingly prefer to age at home (3). For those with the financial means, this can work very well; 102 year old Leroy Neuberg told the Radio program Bostonomixthat he credits his longevity to his dedicated and qualified home caregiver (4). However, many seniors who are healthy enough to live at home with some assistance are unable to do so due to the lack of available caregivers. People with disabilities have the same issue –even those who are very young.
25-year-old Korrie Johnson has cerebral palsy and limited mobility, but is overall healthy and mentally fit. Her mother used to help her with daily tasks, but is now unable to do so because she was injured in a serious car crash. Johnson had no other choice but to move into a nursing home in order to receive basic assistance.
“This is no place for someone my age,” she told the Star Tribune. Most of the other residents have dementia and other debilitating conditions.
Johnson is far from the only disabled person living in an institution and wishing to be free. In her home state of Minnesota, approximately 1,500 people under age 65 live in nursing homes. With a bit of help, many of them would likely be able to live at home and lead productive lives.

Solving the Home Caregiver Crisis

Advocates argue that unnecessary institutionalization, such as what Johnson is experiencing, violates civil rights. The Supreme Court “Olmstead” ruling (1999) mandates that states provide their residents with care in the most integrated environment possible.
Even from an economic perspective, home care makes sense. It tends to cost taxpayers less than nursing home care (5).
A critical component of fixing the caregiver shortage is making home caretaking a better profession. Worker cooperatives may help improve conditions for home caregivers, as well as provide training opportunities. Additionally, changes to Medicaid rules could provide caregivers with increased pay and benefits, more stability, and room for advancement (1).
As a society, we must recognize the importance of this profession, and treat home caregivers with the respect they deserve.
Sources

  1. Forbes– The Shortage of Home Care Workers: Worse Than You Think
  2. The Columbus Dispatch– Crisis in care: Lack of quality caregivers, constant turnover tough on disabled, families
  3. The Chicago Tribune– ‘Crisis mode’: As boomers age, a shortage of caregivers
  4. Bostonomix– Demand For Senior Home Care Grows, But Its Pay Remains Low
  5. Star Tribune– Shortage of home health workers forcing young Minnesotans with disabilities into institutions

This guest blog post was contributed by Reiter & Walsh ABC Law Centers.

What the Home Caregiver Shortage Means for Seniors and Disabled

What the Home Caregiver Shortage Means for Seniors and Disabled What the Home Caregiver Shortage Means for Seniors and Disabled What the Home Caregiver Shortage Means for Seniors and Disabled What the Home Caregiver Shortage Means for Seniors and Disabled What the Home Caregiver Shortage Means for Seniors and Disabled What the Home Caregiver Shortage Means for Seniors and Disabled

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Tech Support

Robotics Revolutionizing Senior Lifestyles

by Kimberly Johnson
written by Kimberly Johnson

These days our golden years are radically different from how they were when our parents reached them. People are living longer than ever these days and enjoying better health while doing it. There are over 50 million people in the US age 65 and older, and that number is expected to rise to over 90 million by 2040 as the last of the baby boomers finally reach that landmark. Seniors aren’t slowing down much at all and with constantly improving technology they don’t have to. Technological and medical breakthroughs are making their quality of life better than ever before. Let’s look at some of the robotic technology that’s making that possible. Robotics Revolutionizing Senior Lifestyles

Robotics Around the House

Household robotics aren’t really anything new. They began with the Roomba, the robotic vacuum that cleans rugs and floors all by itself. Since then there has been a flurry of other brands hitting the market, some more affordable than others. What they all have in common though is that they’ll clean your floors without the hassle of traditional vacuums, which often need to be dragged around and plugged in somewhere. Seniors will find them very useful especially those with back or knee problems.
There are also robotic mops that will clean hard surfaces the same way. They can detect the type of dirt they encounter and then use either a wet cleaner and scrub pad or simply vacuum it up. No one enjoys mopping floors, least of all seniors, but it has to be done, especially with pets and grandbabies around. A robotic mop makes it much easier and less physically taxing.

Robots as Personal Assistants

For the more technologically adventurous seniors, there are personal robots available now. They move about freely on their own and can do things like grab objects, sweep, open doors and deliver food and prescriptions. Seniors who participated in focus groups about these robots felt positive about them, as long as they and not the robot remained in control.
There are also studies being done on whether such robots would be good for providing companionship and comfort to lonely seniors. When surveyed seniors said, they liked the idea but only if they didn’t have to give up any of their independence to it. Experts say such robots would be designed to assist, but only as much as the senior wanted it to.
Memory loss is a very real issue for many seniors, which is why a gentle reminder from a voice command personal alarm system such as Reminder Rosie is so useful. The gadget allows caregivers to record instructions such as ‘remember to take your pill at 11am Dad’. The personal touch is comforting to those who use it, and promotes independent living in seniors who need to maintain a healthy routine. This is also an innovation that is popular with caregivers as they feel that the ‘nag factor’ has been removed from list of their daily responsibilities.

Replacement for Physical Tasks

For seniors who have swimming pools, there are even robotic pool cleaners. Pool cleaning is pretty strenuous and some seniors may not feel up or it or simply don’t want to spend the time, yet would rather not be locked into a contract with a pool company. The robotic pool cleaner is an excellent alternative, so seniors can keep their pools and benefit from the low impact exercise it provides them.
Robotics is changing lives every day and seniors are no exception. Robotic technology can help them stay independent and have more time to spend doing things they love. Right now we have pool cleaners, vacuums, and robots, but you can expect much more of this type of technology in the years to come.
By Jackie Edwards
Now working as a writer, Jackie started her career in finance and banking, but after becoming a mom refocused and decided to spend more time with her family. When she’s not writing, she volunteers for a number of local mental health charities and she looks after her parents who live close by. Her father is beginning with the early stages of Dementia and Jackie feels it important to research as much as possible into helping seniors live their final years in comfort.

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How First-Time Family Caregivers Shouldn’t Overestimate Themselves
Caregiving

How First-Time Family Caregivers Shouldn’t Overestimate Themselves

by Richard Bitner
written by Richard Bitner

When your mom or dad starts to struggle with day-to-day activities, you may find yourself acting as a family caregiver. Caregiving is no small responsibility, and from the outside, most people understand that it’s a lot to handle. But when someone we love requires care, it’s easy to lose perspective and assume we’re the exception to the rule. No matter what happens, we tell ourselves, we can handle it. How First-Time Family Caregivers Shouldn’t Overestimate Themselves
But caregiving often demands superhuman levels of energy, patience, and positivity. Expecting yourself to withstand these demand, and to provide high-quality care, is a shortcut to failure.
In overestimating our abilities as family caregivers, we endanger not only our own well-being, but also the well-being of our loved ones. Decades of research have highlighted the health risks faced by family caregivers, who experience high rates of physical, mental, and emotional health concerns. By compromising their own health, family caregivers also compromise the quality of care they provide. When this happens, caregiving can have a counterintuitive effect: worsening, rather than improving, quality of life.
Needless to say, if you’re taking on family caregiver duties for the first time, it’s important that you don’t overestimate your own abilities. Here are a few tips on how to prevent this from happening.

How Family Caregivers Can Avoid Unrealistic Workloads

Start Out Small. Whenever possible, family caregivers should start caregiving early. Instead of waiting for your loved one to start showing signs of severe decline, start lending a hand with small, routine tasks like running errands and dishwashing.
Starting early offers benefits for both you and your loved one. By starting out with smaller caregiving responsibilities, you can will reduce the risk of early burnout, develop caregiving skills and routines gradually. This method also lowers the risk that the care recipient will start receiving support too late, when decline has already compromised their health and well-being.
Build Caregiving Skills. Some people carry a mistaken assumption that caregiving is unskilled labor. Ask anyone who’s actually provided care — as a family caregiver or as a caregiving professional — and you’ll hear otherwise. The best caregivers have spent years refining their caregiving toolkits, which include a mix of hands-on talents and emotional skills.
By building up your own set of caregiving skills, you can reduce the risk of becoming overwhelmed. Make a conscious effort to become more effective and efficient at routine caregiving tasks and seek out caregiver resources that can help you become a better caregiver. When you feel more comfortable and capable as a family caregiver, you can start to take on additional roles and responsibilities.
Plan for Self-Care. Self-care is important for everyone, but it’s critical for those of us performing stressful, highly demanding work. Caregiving exacts a toll on your physical, mental, and emotional health. If you ignore this, you’ll make every aspect of your life more difficult, including caregiving. This makes caregiver all the more taxing on your physical, mental, and emotional health, creating a dangerous feedback loop.
So when you’re starting out as a family caregiver, make sure that you’re setting aside time for self-care activities. Many family caregivers are quick to sacrifice personal time when they start providing care to a loved one. In many cases, it never occurs to them that they need time for self-care. By steering clear of this mistake, you’ll avoid the number one cause of caregiver burnout.
Set Realistic Goals. When you’re volunteering to act as a family member’s caregiver, it’s important that you set realistic goals. Typically, this means a conservative approach to goal-setting. Start with what you think you’re capable of, then cut those expectations by 25% to 50%.
Most people substantially overestimate themselves when they start a new role. That tendency is made worse when you’re caring for someone you love. But just because you want to do it all for your mom or dad, that doesn’t mean you can. Remember that, as a family caregiver, it’s easier to expand your role than to shrink it.
Ask for Support. One of the best ways to avoid becoming overwhelmed is to ask for outside help. Other members of your family might be unable to provide as much support as you can, but that doesn’t mean they can’t provide any support at all. Make sure to get family and friends involved in caregiving early.
If family and friends are unable to lend support, professionalrespite care servicescan help. A trusted home care agency will connect you with professional caregivers who can provide caregiving assistance, relieving the burden placed on family caregivers.
Overwhelmed by caregiving duties? Learn more about respite care services from Visiting Angels®by calling us today at 800-365-4189 or by contacting your local office.

How First-Time Family Caregivers Shouldn’t Overestimate Themselves

How First-Time Family Caregivers Shouldn’t Overestimate Themselves How First-Time Family Caregivers Shouldn’t Overestimate Themselves How First-Time Family Caregivers Shouldn’t Overestimate Themselves How First-Time Family Caregivers Shouldn’t Overestimate Themselves How First-Time Family Caregivers Shouldn’t Overestimate Themselves How First-Time Family Caregivers Shouldn’t Overestimate Themselves How First-Time Family Caregivers Shouldn’t Overestimate Themselves How First-Time Family Caregivers Shouldn’t Overestimate Themselves How First-Time Family Caregivers Shouldn’t Overestimate Themselves How First-Time Family Caregivers Shouldn’t Overestimate Themselves How First-Time Family Caregivers Shouldn’t Overestimate Themselves
 

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Topics to Discuss with Aging Parents
Aging

Topics to Discuss with Aging Parents

by Kathy Macaraeg
written by Kathy Macaraeg

Ideally, you want to ask all of these questions at once so that if your parents don’t have any of the documents, you can set an appointment with a family lawyer to take care of everything at once.
Are There Areas in Your Life Where You Need Help?
You should ask your aging parent this question frequently. Circumstances change. While they may not need assistance with anything today, that could change quickly tomorrow. If you are at a loss for what types of questions to ask, here are some suggestions:

  • Are you having trouble safely getting around the house?
  • Have you fallen or lost your balance recently?
  • Are you eating well? Do you need help getting healthy food?
  • Are you still comfortable driving?
  • Do you need me to bring you anything?
  • Is everything working properly?

You would be surprised by how many of my clients quietly struggled with the above issues because they didn’t want to bother their children or alert their children to their inability to live independently. In addition to asking these questions, you should be checking for signs of their abilities. Some signs include:

  • Frequent falls or bruising
  • Weight loss or trouble sleeping
  • An empty refrigerator or pantry or no “fresh” foods
  • They are not grooming in the same way or as frequently
  • Their mail or paperwork is piling up
  • They are forgetting appointments or important dates
  • They keep phone calls or visits short (so that you don’t notice any issues)

Do You Have an Advanced Medical Directive?
An advanced medical directive is a legal document in which a person specifies what actions should be taken for their health if they are no longer able to make decision for themselves because of illness or incapacity.
If they do, discuss what is on their advanced medical directive so that if an issue suddenly arises, you won’t have to waste time hunting for the documentation. If they don’t set up an appointment with a family law practitioner.
Do You Have a Healthcare Proxy or Durable Power of Attorney?
A healthcare proxy is a document with which a patient appoints an agent to legally make healthcare decisions on behalf of the patient, when he or she is incapable of making and executing decisions stipulated in the proxy.
Does Your Doctor Have Signed Consent Forms For Who Can Speak to Him/Her?
If you or a sibling want the opportunity to speak to your parent’s medical provider outside of attending their appointment, you need to be sure their doctor has a signed consent for that enables you to do so. Medical offices may have their own forms or they may be less formal and just need your parent to call and clear you. Check with your parent and their medical provider.
Do You Have a Financial Power of Attorney?
A Financial Power of Attorney authorizes someone to act on your behalf in financial matters. This is a difficult topic to bring up as your aging parent may be concerned that he or she will lose control of their finances. You also need to be cautious about who is given this role as there is a risk that in the wrong hands, their money can be mismanaged or worse.
On the other hand, if your aging parent is struggling to stay on top of his or her bills or has reduced cognitive function that makes it impossible to make financial decisions, it is critical that someone steps in to help with finances. Of note, it is important that your aging parent make this decision while he or she has the cognitive ability to do so, which is why you want to have the discussion early.
At What Point Is Aging in Place No Longer Feasible for You?
Everyone wants to age in place. There are very few people who want to leave their family home to move into a communal living environment. Unfortunately, it isn’t possible for everyone to age in place.
Take the time to discuss with your aging parent at what point – if there is a point – they would consider assisted living. If they are completely against moving into assisted living, what are their preferences and is it in their financial control. Would your aging parent prefer moving in with family? Is that even an option? Would their preference be round-the-clock caregiving services?
There may become a point where it truly isn’t an option to age in place. They may not be ambulatory. They may be ill. They may need round the clock care which is out of the budget. If they do need to move into a facility, what type of environment is most preferable?
——
None of these conversations are pleasant, yet they are all important to ensuring your parent’s end of life care is what he or she would want. Jumping into caregiving as a result of illness or an injury is stressful.
If at all possible, you want to have caregiving discussions with your aging parents early and often. You never know when circumstances will change and you don’t want to have conflict with your aging parent over his or her care, or with a sibling or family member.
Lastly, use the resources of Senior.com. They specialize in helping people age in their home longer by providing fall prevention products like lift chairs, walkers or rollators, canes and Stander products.

Topics to Discuss with Aging Parents

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Take Steps to Organize your Care
Caregiving

Take Steps to Organize your Care

by Carol Marak
written by Carol Marak

A recent column discussed the significant legal paperwork and the long-term care options. Research says, most of us deny that we will ever need long-term care but reality shows differently. Take Steps to Organize your Care
Today, let’s look at the steps that help you plan for a medical event if one should occur. It’s always best to “prepare in advance” long before you need help. By waiting for the last-minute, it could put you or the other person at risk of stress and in a position of not finding the best care. Take Steps to Organize your Care

  • Find a support community and network. The members offer valuable advice and by connecting with those in the similar situations will comfort knowing you can count on their experience.
  • Organize legal documents — select a trusted relative, friend, or professional as the power of attorney and the health care proxy, but make sure they understand your wishes.
  • Keep a list of contacts with names and phone numbers of the bank, lawyer, pharmacist, physician, hairdresser, yardman and others who help. Add neighbors, church connections, friends, and family. Don’t rely on memory for details.
  • Add local resources — religious and faith-based groups are reliable support. Consider local groups like Meals-on-Wheels and the Area Agency on Aging.
  • Obtain a home safety assessment — have the home assessed for safety to determine whether you or another will be safe and secure. The plan will recommend immediate, short-term and long-term solutions.
  • Start discussions with relatives and siblings — have care conversations with the family and make a plan. Consider each person’s natural talents–some are not comfortable giving baths, perhaps they can cook, clean, and run errands.

Turn to your doctor first

Medical issues to discuss with your doctor:

  • If you’ve fallen in the past 6 months
  • If you take 5 or more medications

Identify cognitive and functional abilities:

  • Do you need help with bathing, dressing, shopping, and paying bills?
  • Do you feel sad?

Identify your social support:

  • Who could help you in a crisis?
  • Do you have a long-term care policy?

Create a care and treatment plan with the medical staff.

  • Take advantage of delivery services for medications and food. Utilize home care if you need help with activities of daily living.

Make safety and fall prevention a priority.

Tell your doctor if:

  • You have trouble driving. Let the medical staff know if you experienced accidents or if you’ve gotten lost while driving.

Create a close bond with your medical team by

  • Developing a relationship with your primary care physician and staff
  • Learn their 24-hour call service
  • Learn if the hospital where your physician works has a 24-hour call service
  • Know nearby Urgent Care Centers
  • Some emergency rooms have fast track lines to help those unsure if it is a real emergency

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Elder Care & Personal Boundaries: 5 Tips for When Parents Move In
Aging

Elder Care & Personal Boundaries: 5 Tips for When Parents Move In

by Richard Bitner
written by Richard Bitner

In surveys, the overwhelming majority of seniors express a preference for aging in place. But as we grow older, physical and/or cognitive decline can make aging in place difficult. Support from family caregivers and professional elder care services can reduce those difficulties. But if decline becomes severe, you might need to consider alternatives, like having your parent come live with you. Elder Care & Personal Boundaries: 5 Tips for When Parents Move In
Having a parent move in with your family can make it easier to tend to their elder care needs and improve their overall quality of life. But it can also lead to issues with personal boundaries. In caregiving relationships, boundaries are key to quality care and healthy family dynamics, so it’s important that firm boundaries are set and respected. Here are five tips on how to make this happen.

1. Create an Elder Care Routine

Caring for an elderly loved one can wreak havoc on your schedule. That’s true when your mom or dad lives separate from you and your family, but it’s an even bigger issue when you’re living in the same space. Without a regular routine in place, caregiving responsibilities can start to dominate your life. If you’re always “on call” for when your loved one needs assistance, or if you’re performing a bunch of small jobs throughout the day, it can start to feel like you never have time to yourself.
To avoid this, develop an elder care routine that allows you to set aside time for yourself. Set firm boundaries regarding your “off hours” and when it’s appropriate for your loved one to ask for assistance outside of their elder care routine.

2. Plan for Personal Space

When your mom or dad moves home for elder care, boundaries around personal space can become as much of an issue as boundaries around personal time. A new family member will dramatically alter the way your home functions. If you haven’t planned for this change, it could create points of friction between you and your loved one and between your loved one and other members of your family.
If you have the square footage to do so, make sure that your loved one not only has their own bedroom, but also their own living space. Usually, this means a comfortable chair, their own TV, and any other items that they enjoy using on a regular basis. This way, you can steer clear of family disputes or resentments over use of common space.

3. Communicate Clearly

Boundaries can’t be respected if they aren’t clearly stated in the first place. That’s something many family elder care providers learn the hard way. Nobody wants to lay down the law with a parent, especially when mom or dad is suffering from poor health. As a result, many family caregivers stay silent — even as they notice personal boundaries erode and collapse.
While keeping quiet can help you avoid short-term awkwardness and discomfort, it will do you no favors in the long run. Failure to set and clearly communicate boundaries will quickly lead to resentment and can result in family caregivers overextending themselves. Relationships break down, caregivers deteriorate, and the quality of elder care suffers.

4. Respect Your Own Boundaries

Most family caregivers worry about whether or not their loved one will respect their personal boundaries around elder care. But when it comes to respecting boundaries, there’s someone else you need to worry about: yourself.
Family elder care providers are notoriously bad at respecting their own self-stated boundaries. No matter how overwhelmed they become, they feel compelled to sacrifice their personal time and privacy at a moment’s notice.
The result, more often than not, is a downward spiral. Family elder care providers develop severe caregiver stress. Their personal well-being suffers, as does the quality of care they provide. Low-quality care causes their loved one’s well-being to suffer, exacerbating their need for elder care, and the cycle continues.

5. Find Elder Care Support

Far too many family caregivers are their loved one’s only source of elder care. In these cases, it’s almost impossible to maintain personal boundaries, especially as your loved one’s care needs increase. To prevent this, try to get other members of your family involved with caregiving. If elder care responsibilities start to encroach on your personal time and privacy, you’ll have other caregivers who can help shoulder the burden of care.
If family members are unavailable — or unwilling — to lend a helping hand, professional elder care services may be a better option. Many elder care agencies provide respite care on a part-time basis, which allows family caregivers to maintain healthy lives away from care. By hiring an elder care agency, you can ensure scheduled private time on a daily or weekly basis: one of the best ways to ensure your boundaries are respected.
If caregiving is making it hard to maintain personal boundaries and privacy? Your local Visiting Angels® can help. Call 800-365-4189 today or find your local Visiting Angels office to learn more about elder care services in your area.
Finding a Home for Grandma and Grandpa

Elder Care & Personal Boundaries: 5 Tips for When Parents Move In

Elder Care & Personal Boundaries: 5 Tips for When Parents Move In Elder Care & Personal Boundaries: 5 Tips for When Parents Move In Elder Care & Personal Boundaries: 5 Tips for When Parents Move In Elder Care & Personal Boundaries: 5 Tips for When Parents Move In Elder Care & Personal Boundaries: 5 Tips for When Parents Move In Elder Care & Personal Boundaries: 5 Tips for When Parents Move In Elder Care & Personal Boundaries: 5 Tips for When Parents Move In Elder Care & Personal Boundaries: 5 Tips for When Parents Move In Elder Care & Personal Boundaries: 5 Tips for When Parents Move In Elder Care & Personal Boundaries: 5 Tips for When Parents Move In Elder Care & Personal Boundaries: 5 Tips for When Parents Move In Elder Care & Personal Boundaries: 5 Tips for When Parents Move In
 
 

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